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#1hotchfan — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 23:41:21 CST

Last Time on Criminal Minds
An ex-con escapes while in the custody of the BAU, and the team must review his criminal career in order to determine where he may have gone.

Check out the recap from Retaliation Coming soon...

Retaliation ►

COMING UP NEXT...
	Wednesday, December 30th at 9:00pm EST 4.24 Amplification When a new type of chemical warfare is released into the open air, the BAU must act quickly to find the source before any more innocent people are exposed. Go to: Amplification ► All Criminal Minds Episode Guides ►

HOT TOPICS

Chat about episode 5.09 "100" here!

Season 5 Spoiler thread

You Know You're Obsessed with Criminal Minds When...

Morgan as Unit Chief

Hotch is the best because of Thomas Gibson

How about a little quiz...

Elimination Game

Where we left off in Season 5:
	• Hotch survives a bomb explosion!	• JJ gives birth to baby Henry.
	• Prentiss and Reid find themselves in a hostage situation.	• The Reaper, a 10-year old case, returns to haunt Hotch.
	• Season 4 photos	• The BAU team tracks down a man who has his brother kidnap and kill homeless people.


	Calling Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner. Check out these fine pages on our dark, brooding Unit Chief... • Supervisory Special Agent Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner • Hotch photos • Thomas Gibson video inteviews • All Criminal Minds Characters


	Who's finer looking than AJ Cook? Find out all about AJ here: • AJ's bio • Photos of AJ Cook • All Criminal Minds Cast Members

	Criminal Minds Music		Criminal Minds Writers
	Criminal Minds Graphics / Fan Art		Criminal Minds Novels
	Criminal Minds Glossary		Criminal Minds Wiki Affiliates

Criminal Minds TV Schedule
The next new Criminal Minds airs in January 2010

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Criminal Minds, CSI: NY lead CBS Wednesday win

'Criminal Minds' 100th Episode

TV Ratings: 'Criminal Minds,' 'CSI: NY' lead CBS Wednesday win

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This Week: ▲7
Last Week: 11
Highest: 3

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a weekly ranking system
of the most popular TV shows based on online activity. It pulls statistics from sources of fan discussion and activity including Twitter, Facebook, Google, IMDb, and Wetpaint fansites, among others.

"A belief is not merely an idea the mind possesses. It is an idea that possesses the mind."
~ Robert Oxton Bolton

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Music of Criminal Minds Season 4

Blondchild1 — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 17:07:04 CST

Keep track of the songs from the show:

Did you know you can even listen to the songs by adding an IMEEM music widget? Start by clicking EasyEdit, then the "Widget" button, then select IMeem. Follow the instructions for creating the player and drop it into the table below.

Some of the music varies between when an episode is shown on television and what is released on the Season DVD's.

Keep in mind the page will be slow to load due to the Widgets.

SEASON 4

Episode # \| Title	Song Titles	Artist	Scene Description
4x01 "Mayhem"	"Mr. Lonely"	Bobby Vinton
	"Rock N Roll Train"	AC/DC	Promotional Trailers
4x04 "Paradise"	"Rock N Roll Train"	AC/DC	In the beginning as the tractor trailer is driving.
4x05 "Catching Out"	"Better"	Mary Arden Collins	In the coffee shop
4x06 "The Instincts"	"Shelter From The Storm"	Bob Dylan
4x09 "52 Pickup"	"Make U Wanna Dance"	Gen Rubin
	"Suspicious Character"	The Blood Arm
	"Around Here"	Peri	When Reid and Morgan are giving out flyers
	"28 Butts"	Little Jackie	Prentiss is talking to Viper
	"Back to You"	Puddu Varano
	"Million Dollar Baby"	Phontaine
4x11 "Normal"	"A Well Respected Man"	The Kinks
4x12 "Soul Mates"	"Here Comes My Girl"	Tom Petty	The music used between the UnSubs to communicate.
4x15 "Zoe's Reprise"	"The Lengths"	Black Keys
4x16 "Pleasure is my Business"	"Mercy"	Duffy	The teaser scene before the UnSub kills her client.
4x17 "Demonology"	"The Fix"	Noises 10
	"My Side of the Story"	Hodges	At the end when Prentiss is standing in front of the church.
4x20 "Conflicted"	"Tres Cool"	Jupiter Rising	When the college students party on the beach.
	"Needle in the Basket"	FakeBreed	From Adam's earphones in the lobby, and when he's on the roof with Morgan.
	"We Love What Kills Us"	Bangkok Five	When Adam cleans the hotel room and finds the body.
	"Rock To the Rhythm" (Starkillers Remix)	Dave Aude / DJ Dan	When the team arrives in the hotel lobby to do interviews.
	"Sugar Boy"	ProducersLab	When the UnSub looks for he next victim, and when the team finds Julie dancing/flirting with a young guy.
4x22 "The Big Wheel"	"Tears and Rain"	James Blunt
4x23 "Roadkill"	"I'm Alive"	Johnny Thunder	The song that the UnSub played on the truck's tape-deck before every kill.
4x24
4x25
4x26

◄Back to: Music of Criminal Minds

Spencer Reid

jareaufan — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 15:02:28 CST

Click EasyEdit to add information about Spencer to this page. Write his backstory, talk about his relationships, his defining cases, and what makes him tick. > Talk about Spencer!

Played by: Matthew Gray Gubler.

New: Add photos of Reid in action here!

Rank: Supervisory Special Agent (SSA), Profiler

Vitals: Reid is a genius who graduated from a public high school at age twelve and went to Cal Tech (with Yale as his safety school) at thirteen where he earned three doctorates in Mathematics, Chemistry and Engineering by the age of twenty one. In addition he holds undergraduate degrees in Psychology and Sociology and is currently working on another degree in Philosophy (4x08 "Masterpiece"). He has an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory, and can read 20,000 words per minute. It has also been stated that while in high school he suffered severe bullying at the hands of his classmates, including an incident when he was tricked into going to meet a girl he liked behind the school field house, where the entire football team was waiting for him. They stripped him naked and tied him to a goal post. He was humiliated and said nothing until he told Morgan (3x16 "Elephant's Memory"). In his youth, his father left him and his mother, no longer able to deal with the paranoid schizophrenia of Reid's mother, Diana. Reid grew up learning nearly everything he knows from books, with his mother often reading to him. Still, Reid knew the way his mother was living wasn't healthy. When he was eighteen, he had his mother placed in a mental institution, Bennington Sanitarium. She is still there, and Reid has stated that although he sends letters every day, he is afraid to visit her up until season four when we see him visit her to learn about his father. Reid is also worried about the fact that his mother's illness can be passed on genetically; he once told Morgan that "I know what it's like to be afraid of your own mind". He grew up in Las Vegas, Nevada and is very adept at all card games.

Spencer Reid is the youngest member of the B.A.U., and has yet to reach his thirtieth birthday. He has had to shoot and kill two UnSub's during his assignment to the BAU. He has also been held hostage, drugged, and tortured at the hands of an UnSub with multiple personality disorder.

It is made clear that the rest of the team is aware of Reid's drug addiction problem that he obtained after being drugged while he was held hostage, but he seems to have improved over the following episodes, and he apparently has been clean for ten months at the end of season three ("Elephant's Memory").

Key episodes:
1x02 "Compulsion",
1x06 "L.D.S.K.",
1x04 "Plain Sight"
1x09 "Derailed,"
1x10 "The Popular Kids",
1x18 "Somebody's Watching,"
1x22 "The Fisher King (Part 1),"
2x01 "The Fisher King (Part 2),"
2x06 "The Boogeyman,"
2x11 "Sex, Birth, Death,"
2x14 "The Big Game,"
2x15 "Revelations,"
2x17 "Distress,"
2x18 "Jones."
3x12 "3rd Life"
3x16 "Elephant's Memory"
4x03 "Minimal Loss"
4x07 "Memoriam"
4x20 "Conflicted"
4x24 Amplification

Who is Reid? Discuss his character development by season.

Season 1

Episode 1x01, "Extreme Aggressor," Spencer Reid is introduced as the youngest member of the BAU. He has a student/mentor relationship with Agent Gideon, his former boss who has taken a leave of absence from the BAU.

Episode 1x02, "Compulsion," Gideon challenges Reid to "think outside the box" on their current case, which involves a series of fires on college campus. Reid is the one who figures out that the unsub isn't obsessed with fire - he (she as it turns out) is obsessive compulsive. She must always do things in a pattern of threes - revealed when Reid notices that she turned the doorknob three times as she set a room on fire.

Episode 1x04, "Plain Sight," Reid is ambushed with an office party to celebrate his 24th birthday. The younger members of the team tease him, with JJ coming to his rescue. Reid gleefully informs Gideon that she is the only person in the world who calls him "Spence", hinting at a possible crush on his part. Later, Gideon gives Reid tickets to a Redskins game, JJ's favourite team. At Gideon's prompting, Reid nervously asks JJ to the game and in the next episode when Morgan and Reid are walking in a hallway and Morgan asks him about it he uses the response "Top Secret". Aside from that, the date is never talked about again.

Episode 1x06, "L.D.S.K.," we learn that Reid has failed his gun qualification, which makes him feel like less of a serious team member. He seeks Hotch's help in learning how to shoot properly. Reid later confides in Gideon that without the gun he feels more like a "teacher's assistant" than an FBI agent. Reid and Hotch then become involved in a hostage situation, held at gunpoint by UnSub Philip Dowd. Hotch pretends to blame Reid for it, tauntingly calling him "boy genius" and asking Dowd's permission to "kick the snot out of" Reid. Hotch kicks him repeatedly, allowing Reid to grab his gun from his ankle holster and shoot Dowd in the head, killing him. We learn that Reid has been with the BAU for 3 years, and that he attended a Las Vegas public high school at the age of 12.

Episode 1x07, "The Fox," Gideon sends Reid on his first solo interview with a suspect. Reid is nervous and the suspect gets upset and goes for Reid, but they restrain him as Reid speaks about the man's past. The man had been physically abused by his biological parents and sexually abused by his next home and Reid asks him if he continued the behavior with his own children.

Episode 1x09, "Derailed," Reid enters a train being held hostage by a paranoid schizophrenic, Theodore Briar, who believes that all of the passengers (including Elle) are FBI agents assigned to follow him, and that he has a microchip in his arm. Reid uses sleight-of-hand learned during the breaks after exams in college to make Briar believe that he has taken the chip out of his arm. Later, he talks Briar down, saying, "I know what the voices are like." It's fairly clear that he is speaking from experience, though not necessarily his own. Despite this, he denies any personal connection with schizophrenia when Elle asks.

Episode 1x10, "The Popular Kids," Reid reveals to Morgan that he's been having nightmares. Morgan goes behind his back and tells Hotch and Gideon. At the end of the episode, Gideon talks with Reid about focusing on the people they've saved, and not the ones who they can't get to. He gives Reid a photo of a girl he saved in the eighties, and the episode ends on a shot of Reid, eyes closed, looking like he's about to sleep.

Episode 1x18, "Somebody's Watching," When Reid meets up with a former high school classmate, Parker Dunley, we learn that Reid graduated from high school at 12 years old. Reid develops a relationship with a stalking victim whose case they're working on, a starlet whose popularity is growing quickly. He is uncomfortable and unsure of how to deal with what's going on. (In this episode, Reid once again manages to peacefully take down a mentally unstable UnSub).

Episode 1x22, "The Fisher King (Part 1)," Reid goes to Bennington Sanitarium in Nevada, where his mother is a patient. We learn she is schizophrenic as Reid talks to Dr. Jesson, who sought him out when she heard he was there. She tells him what makes his mother happiest is writing in her journals and receiving his daily letters, and she is going to be so excited he is there. She tells him Diana (his mother) is "exceptionally proud" of him and her journals are full of stories of his cases. Viewers learn his mother was also once a professor of 15th century literature. Reid tells Dr. Jesson he would prefer to let his mother rest that day and return tomorrow. He asks the doctor to give his mother a book he brought her - Marjorie Kemp - his mother's favorite author.

Season 2

Episode 2x01, "The Fisher King (Part 2)," We see Reid's mother in full for the first time and the type of relationship he has with her. Reid confides in Garcia about his reluctance to visit his mother, and his fear of one day inheriting schizophrenia.

Episode 2x06, "Boogeyman," Reid tells Morgan about how he talked to Elle before she shot William Lee and that she was drinking. He blames himself for not saying anything to someone. Morgan tells him that Elle made her own choice, and that it's on her and not him. We also learn that Reid doesn't like eating spinach and that he is afraid of the dark.

Episode 2x11, "Sex, Birth, Death," Reid is sought out by a young man, named Nathan Harris, who shows the warning signs of one day becoming a serial killer. At the end of the episode, Nathan cuts his wrists while with a prostitute, leaving Reid's business card on a table beside him. The prostitute calls Reid's number and he and Garcia arrive in time to save Nathan's life. Another great moment between Gideon and Reid - what if Nathan does become a serial killer? "Then you catch him."

Episode 2x14, "The Big Game," Reid and JJ go to the house of a suspect, Tobias Hankel, and split up. Reid goes behind the barn and into a cornfield where he overhears Tobias talking to himself. He is hit over the head, captured and held hostage by Tobias.

Episode 2x15, "Revelations," Reid is held hostage and drugged by Tobias as the rest of the team races to find him. Footage of Reid being tortured is placed on the Internet. During dilaudid-induced unconsciousness, Reid sees scenes from his childhood and this causes him to confess to Tobias that he had sent his schizophrenic mother away. Tobias drags Reid out and forces him to dig his own grave. Reid gets a hold of Tobias' gun and shoots him. Reid takes some dilaudid off of Tobias' dead body.

Episode 2x17, "Distress," Still dealing with the trauma of Georgia, Reid focuses his anger on Prentiss, repeatedly snapping at her throughout their search for an UnSub suffering from severe Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Reid himself continues to display some possible symptoms of PTSD, most notably his irritable reaction to the loud noise of the city-wide construction around them.

Episode 2x19, "Ashes and Dust," During a briefing, Reid likens the arsonist to a drug addict, saying that "it would be almost impossible for him to quit without help." The comment draws stares from Gideon, Hotch, and Morgan, making Reid uncomfortable.

Season 3

Episode 3x02, "In Name and Blood," Reid worries about Gideon and goes to his cabin to check up on him. The cabin is empty, except for Gideon's gun, badge, and letter. The letter is addressed to Reid, apologising for his actions. It is also in this episode that Reid's possible drug addiction is mentioned again, when Hotch tells Prentiss "another [agent] might have a serious drug problem which I didn't report."

Episode 3x03, "Scared to Death," Reid and the team wonder why Gideon left the letter for him specifically.

Episode 3x05, "Seven Seconds," Reid helps Morgan interview Katie's (the missing girl) cousin. He was the last person to see her before she went missing. Reid does a great job interviewing the boy and in the last interview reveals some of his personal life to the boy. He talks about when he first started noticing girls at 13 in an effort to get the boy to open up. He also shows empathy at the end when he tells the boy whose parents have both been arrested that they (the team) will make sure he is okay.

Episode 3x12, "3rd Life," At the end of this episode, Reid goes to the high school where the father is going to kill the UnSub. The father shoots the UnSub in spite of Reid's efforts to talk him down, leaving Reid standing in shock as the father (a State's witness), walks away without being charged.

Episode 3x16, "Elephant's Memory," In this episode, Reid identifies with the UnSub, Owen Savage on all levels. Reid admits to Morgan that when he was a high school freshmen, a girl, Harper Hillman, approached him in the library and told him the most gorgeous girl, Alexa Lisbon, wanted to meet him behind the field house. When he arrived, Alexa was there with the entire football team. They stripped him naked and tied him to a goal post. Everyone there laughed at him and he begged them to help but nobody did. He finally got free and went home at midnight to find his mother having an episode, so he never told anyone what had happened. Morgan is the first person he's ever told. Reid also tells Hotch that being the smartest kid in school also meant being the loneliest.

Season 4

Episode 4x03, "Minimal Loss," Reid and Prentiss go undercover to a cult ranch where they are held captive. Press leak that an FBI agent is in the compound, prompting action from the cult leader, Benjamin Cyrus, who first suspects Reid. However Prentiss willingly gives herself up as the agent and is subsequently beaten by him. Feeling responsible, a regretting Reid is later assured by Emily that what Cyrus did wasn't his fault and that it was her decision to reveal herself as the agent, helping Reid regain his peace of mind.

Episode 4x07, "Memoriam," Reid meets his father after 17 years. He discovers his father worked only 10 minutes away from him. Reid has Garcia hack his father's computer and he learns his father has collected all articles and information on Reid since he left him and his mother. Believing his father to be involved in the murder of a young boy named Riley Jenkins - who had been on the same softball team as Reid - Reid undergoes hypnotherapy and recovers memories of his father burning bloody clothes. He interrogates his father, leading Morgan and Rossi to believe he's taking out his personal frustrations. Diana Reid reveals that the real murderer was likely a ********* named Gary Brendan Michaels who had approached a then-four-year-old Reid while playing chess, causing Diana to become suspicious. She had informed Riley's dad, who then murdered Michaels while Diana was outside. Diana returned home where William Reid helped cover it up. William admits that the knowledge of what had transpired had become too big of a burden for him to stay with Reid and his mom. When Reid asks why he didn't come back, William admits he had lost his confidence and didn't know how to handle Reid any longer. At the end of the episode, Reid returns home to discover JJ has given birth to baby Henry, and he is asked by JJ to be the godfather.

Episode 4x20, "Conflicted," Reid remembers his abduction by Tobias Hankel when dealing with another UnSub with multiple personalities, and he feels guilty for not being able to notice it in time to save Adam (the submissive personality) and the other victims. At the end of the episode, he is shown helping Amanda (Adam) to find Adam´s personality.

Episode 4x24, "Amplification," Reid risks his life to save innocent victims after a deadly strain of Anthrax is released into the air. He refuses to let the doctor give him any narcotics because of his past drug addiction to dilaudid, and suffers through the pain. He has Garcia record a goodbye message for his mom in case anything happens to him. He helps solve the case while trapped inside the house the Anthrax was found in, and is later seen in an ambulance, suffering from aphasia (inability to speak properly), and coughing blood - all symptoms of the Anthrax. At the end, he is seen in a hospital bed while Morgan eats his Jell-O.

Trivia
No main characters, except for Gideon and JJ, have called him by his first name in normal conversation. The only other person to call him Spencer is his mother.	In all seasons, Reid is often portrayed as wearing his watch over his shirt sleeve, regardless of whether it is a light shirt or a thick sweater. This is a typical gifted trait - gifteds are often oddly sensitive to things like clothing tags and jewelry against their skin.	Reid read the book Empty Planet, by Ursula Kent when he was six. He remarks that it would take him ten minutes to buy and reread.

Reid is the statistical expert of the team. In "Ashes and Dust" Prentiss asked him if he had a percentage of arsonists that are caught. He had to admit he did, although he tried to be vague by saying "few" in an effort to be conversational. It didn't work.	Reid has also proven himself to be a magician, a Star Trek nerd and a coffee (with plenty of sugar) addict.	Spencer Reid wears mismatched socks. So does Matthew in real life.
Reid's favorite movie as a kid was 'Babar'.	Reid prefers Mozart over Beethoven.	Reid is very freaked out by baby kicks.
The topic of his dissertation in engineering was "Identifying Non-obvious relationship factors using cluster weighted modeling and geographic regression"	His doctorates are in Mathematics, Chemistry, and Engineering. He also has BAs in Psychology and Sociology, and is working towards a Bachelor's Degree in Philosophy.	During the episode 4.07 'Memoriam', Garcia tells Reid that his father stores in his computer everything ever published online about Reid. The four stories below are the transcripts of the ones who appeared on her screen while she said that.
One Down, Two to Go A year ago I wrote a story on young Spencer Reid who had just graduated college... at the age of sixteen! It is rare for such a young student to fulfill their undergraduate but to go on the following year and achieve his doctorate degree in Mathematics the next is a bit unheard of. "I'm thinking this next year I'll go for either Chemistry or Engineering. I haven't decided where I want to focus my energy just yet," says the young super-genius. When I ask why he chose Cal Tech over MIT and Stanford, he quickly runs down a list of Professors he had a desire to study with. He makes no mention of the weather or girls. "There was a week or two where I thought I might go to Yale to study the Classics," he says. "But then I realized I've already read everything they teach in the curriculum." Sound absurd? It is, until you remember he can read 20,000 words per minute. How does that skill translate to math equations, I ask. "Surprisingly well," he says. "Once you've taught one part of your brain to concentrate to focus, it frees up energy in another part of your brain which can give you a certain lucidity. Time begins to stand still relatively, of course."	BAU's Newest Member By Paul Milworth It's not everyday the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI accepts a new member to their elite team. Even more rare is the addition of a 22 year-old to the team. "Agent Spencer Reid has a gifted mind," said team leader Special Supervisory Agent Jason Gideon, whose own resume dates back to the very beginning of the BAU. "He is young, and while he has never served in law enforcement, I see him as an integral part of the future of the BAU." Others in the FBI community are surprised such a young man would be named to the FBI's elite, but when asked, Agent Reid had this to say. "My age is not the issue. Certainly, when dealing with an emotional situation it can be difficult to accept bad news. It's one of the reasons logic needs to become a more prominent state of being. Logically speaking, I'm the most qualified for the job." Indeed, with three doctorate degrees from Cal Tech already, and a staggering IQ of 187 (higher than Einstein's, reportedly) as well as an eidetic memory, there is no psycho-logical exam or test the FBI could put in front of him he could not ace inside of an hour. But what about the social aspect of the job? Knowing how to talk to victims' families and dealing with local police are two facets law enforcement types will tell you are impossible to learn from a book. "It's one of the reasons I have brought him aboard," said Gideon. "With a little tutelage and some field experience there will be nothing Agent Reid will not be able to accomplish with this team."	Fed Saves Railroad Passengers By Rose Tamlyn USNTNews.com One Security Officer had already been shot and killed. The FBI Agent, who happened to be on the train, was handcuffed to her chair. The stand-off, which took place yesterday in a train car in Texas, could have ended far worse, authorities say. "I only went in because I felt I had the best understanding of the suspect," said Special Supervisory Agent Spencer Reid. "In these situations, you have to first of all understand who it is you're dealing with in order to save as many people as you can. Fortunately for us, we were able to save almost everyone." When asked how he handled things once inside the train, Reid said simply, "Delicately." Doctor Ted Bryar, a physics professor in the midst of a psychological break, was put into custody after being rushed to the hospital, suffering a gunshot wound from another passenger. The passenger, whose name is being withheld by the FBI, had brought the gun on board, and waited for what he judged to be the opportune time to use the weapon. "We do not condone the actions of the passenger who shot Doctor [Note: The text is not entirely shown.]
FBI 'Crucial' in Finding Madison Child Killer By Stanley Hartdale Four children were dead. A fifth had gone missing. The small town of Madison locked all its doors, windows and even cancelled little league games. The Sheriff was exhausted. The Deputies were stressed and at a loss for things to say to members of the community who just wanted to know when they're children would be safe again. "I called in the FBI because I felt I had done everything within my own abilities to put an end to all this," said Sheriff Donalds. "When our help on the case was requested I was handed the file so that I could do a routine assessment of the case," said Supervisory Special Agent Spencer Reid. "It became clear to me, about half way through the file; this was a serial and it wasn't going to stop any time soon. So we came out to Madison and we were able to help." Help indeed. Before they were even here. Agent Reid was on the phone with Sheriff Donalds warning him of another abduction. Sure enough, about an hour later he received a call that another child had gone missing. Normal protocol was thrown out the door. "Normally we wait a few hours, but given the prior kidnappings and the advice from Agent Reid we were on the case immediately. He gave us ideas of how to differentiate a missing child from one who had just wandered off for a few hours. By the time they got here, they were half way to solving the case." The parents of the recovered child, who asked to remain anonymous, expressed their gratitude to Agent Reid and his team. "Without you we would be lost without our child." Agent Reid dismissed their thanks amiably, adding, "It's our job to help when we see fit. This was one of those times the threat was imminent and we acted. It's a win for us."

Criminal Minds Fanfiction

codename:mara — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 09:37:16 CST

The stories and websites of our favourite team
Websites
The Criminal Minds Fic Archive
This archive is dedicated to all CM fanfic, and all shippers welcome (Garcia/Morgan, Garcia/Reid, Hotch/Prentiss, JJ/Prentiss, Hotch/Gideon, etc...). You simply register and then upload/post your fics. Each author manages their own fics and account.

http://www.fanfiction.net/tv/Criminal_Minds/

BAU Fiction
An archive of Criminal Minds fics on LiveJournal. Includes most pairings and ratings, but does have a large slash focus. Please read all warnings beforehand.

http://www.z11.invisionfree.com/Criminal_Minds

Stories

Difference
by:derangedfangirl
Hotch centric oneshot
They were polar opposites. Hotch muses on Hayley as the divorce papers lie on his desk.

Charmed Mummy
Everything
Garcia/Morgan - She was everything he could ever want or need.

The Potomac
Garcia/Morgan - This time it was his turn to comfort her.

Deanne Stevenson
Always Late on Mondays
Morgan/Prentiss - A little flirtation.

Kavi Leighanna
Cornerstone
Garcia/Morgan - If there was one thing Penelope Garcia loved most, it was watching the BAU return parade.

rogueandkurt
Kids
Haley goes to visit Hotch at work, and quickly realizes her mistake.

Weapon
Reid really hated guns, but it was a little late for that now.

Wolfeaddict
Just some scenes I would have liked to see in the episodes. No pairings and no AU, mostly Reid-centred.
All that counts
Missing Scenes for L.D.S.K.
Another way out
Missing Scenes for Sex, Birth, Death
Out of line
Missing Scenes for Elephant's Memory
Not that easy
Missing Scenes for Memoriam
Time will show
Another Missing Scene for Memoriam

Moments in Time
A series of one-shots for various episodes. Title pretty much says it all, they're just little character moments from the episodes.
No pairings and no AU. WIP, I'm gonna add new chapters on a non-regular basis when I finished one.

abbeysapprentice
Criminal minds/ numb3rs
A crossover with numb3rs.
The Minds Intent
A crossover with Criminal Intent.

DantanaFan15
Beauty and the Beasts
Aaron Hotchner loses loved ones, and soon realizes how hard it is to deal with someone who lost everyone she loved.
- No girlfriend drama, here. Sorry :)
- Also Uncompleted. Will let you know when it is done

1983Sarah
The Family That Preys Together, Stays Together
Team fic based roughly on a true story about the "Bloody Benders" and their crimes as a family. Will be like a missing episode, any time in season 3 or 4. In progress.

Dr.Reid's.Property.
Reid Did The Deed....
The team becomes worried when both Morgan and Reid don't answer their phones. When Morgan's house appears empty, they go to Reid's, afraid that the "Reid Effect number three" has once again become active. What they find however is something they never expected to.....

imayfakeit
Title: September
Rating: G
Characters: A. Hotchner
Summary: He thinks about Grace Harrison and her pretty hair, and wonders what she’d say about him now. 5.01 Character Study, Hotch-centric.
Warnings: Mild violence, major character death.

Emamiss
Hoston at the weekend
Everyone needs somebody......a Hotch story......it's not finished yet!!

Codename:mara
Healing touch
Christmas 2009 fic. The team celebrates Christmas weeks after Haley's funeral. Mainly Aaron, Jack and Emily. (It was my first try and I am so pleased at how well it turned out and all the great reviews I got!)

All Character Quotes

Extreme-Aggressor — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 08:39:03 CST

Season Two >>

Okay boys and girls, I'm pretty new here, but I've found the one thing I love reading are the quotes, the sad ones, the intense ones, the funny ones...oh...and don't forget...the Garcia ones! Here's a few to start you off!

Season 1
1x01 - Extreme Aggressor
Hotchner: This is Special Agent Spencer Reid. Gideon: Doctor Reid. Hotchner: Doctor Reid, our expert in just about everything.
Hotchner: This is Dr. Reid Heather’s Brother: Doctor? You seem too young to have gotten into Medical school... Reid:There are PhD's. Three of them. Heather’s Brother: Are you a genius or something? Reid:I don’t believe that intelligence can be accurately quantified, but I do have an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory and can read 20,000 words per minute. [gets a weird look] Yes, I’m a genius.
Morgan: Reid, are you good with this? We’ve got a woman who’s only got a few hours left to live, an incomplete profile, and a Unit Chief on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Gideon: [enters the room] They don’t call them nervous breakdowns anymore. Reid: It's called a major depressive episode.
Morgan: [to Elle] Next time, show a little leg.
Gideon: "Try again. Fail again. Fail better." Reid: Samuel Beckett. Morgan: "Try not. Do or do not." Reid: Yoda.
Garcia: You've reached Penelope Garcia in the FBI's office of Supreme Genius. Morgan: Hey it's Morgan. I need you to work some magic here. I've got a program called Deadbolt Defence and a girl with only a couple hours to live so what do you know? Garcia: You've got a problem. Deadbolt's the number one password crack-resistant software out there. You're gonna have to get inside this guy's head to get the password. Morgan: I thought I was calling the office of Supreme Genius. Garcia: Well gorgeous, you've been re-routed to the office of Too Frickin' Bad.
Reid: [referring to Gideon] Do you know why he calls me Dr. Reid? Hotchner: Because they just see you as a kid. He wants them to treat you with respect.
1x02 - Compulsion
Elle: Chemical accelerant could mean chemistry student. Reid: It could also mean chemistry professor. Elle: I say student. You need self-confidence to lecture in front of a classroom full of 30 college kids. Arsonists are socially incompetent. This guy doesn’t go on dates, doesn’t go to parties, doesn’t feel comfortable in front of groups. [Reid looks at Elle] And of course he’s a total psychopath. Reid: Of course.
Patrol Guy: You’re one of those FBI guys. A profiler, right? Like, one look at the crime scene you can tell what kind of shampoo a killer uses. Gideon: You’re a bit skeptical. Patrol Guy: Maybe a little. Gideon: Your girlfriend thinks you’re going to break up with her. Patrol Guy: You’re kidding, right? (Later) Gideon: You broke up with her. No more necklace. Patrol Guy: Yeah, I kinda wanted to date someone else. Gideon: What's her name? Patrol Guy: Brian Gideon: Oh. Well, that's... That's a pretty good reason.
Garcia: Okay, you know how on Star Trek when Captain Kirk asked McCoy to do something totally impossible, and McCoy says, 'Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor not a miracle worker?' Morgan: Hey, what are you telling me? Not to expect a miracle? Garcia: No, I'm saying I'm not a doctor. Morgan: That's my girl.
Elle: Well, what is the most sinful place on campus? Morgan: Come on Elle, when I was in college it was everywhere.
Morgan: You know there’s got to be a faster way to do this. How about we just change the first question to ‘have you recently dated a homicidal pyromaniac?’
Gideon: No badges. I don’t want to satisfy the unsub’s need for attention by letting him know the FBI is here. Try not to look official. [looks at the team] Try to look less official.
Student: Clara, is the building on fire? Clara: Not yet.
Garcia: If I figure it out does it earn me a night of passionate love-making? Morgan: Most definitely, Sweetness. With Reid.
Gideon: You rely too much on precedent, you never allow for the unexpected.
1x03 - Won't Get Fooled Again
Mrs. Walker: Are you single? Elle: Yes. Mrs. Walker: I have a word of advice. Don’t marry the first guy that proposes.
Elle: I may have something. Barbara Keller was having some trouble insuring some coins she bought. The insurance company thought they might be fake. Hotchner: So the insurance company is blowing up annoying clients?
Morgan: My bomb fragments, let’s start putting this bad boy together. Garcia: Why bother, don’t you just dust for prints and...stuff? Morgan: Garcia, what are you doing in the FBI? Garcia: I didn’t get into medical school.
[Piecing together the bomb] Garcia:: If there was a longer rod it could have fit here and gone all the way through. [Morgan looks a her in surprise] Garcia: Tetris.
1x04 - Plain Sight
Gideon: Finding new ways to hurt each other is what we're good at.
Morgan: Why the Tommy Killer? Hotchner: You know the rock opera? Well, this unsub glues his victim's eyes wide open. Reid: He wants them to see him. Gideon: And feel them.
Hotchner: [about Reid] Isn't it amazing he knows what he knows and he's only 24? Gideon: Imagine what he'll know by fifty.
Elle: [seeing Reid having trouble blowing out the candles] I thought you were full of hot air, Reid.
Reid: [to Gideon, after JJ says "Spence, first piece for the birthday boy"] She's the only person in the whole world who calls me Spence.
Morgan: I hate not having a plan. We’re looking for a needle in a haystack. Reid: Actually, it’s more like we’re looking for a needle in a pile of needles. Morgan: What? Reid: A needle would stand out in a haystack. Morgan: [laughs] Okay and we're not looking for someone who stands out? Reid: No it's more like we're looking for a particular needle in a pile of needles.
Reid: You should see what comes up when you type "death" into a search engine. Morgan: No wonder you can't get a date.
Reid: Do you think it's weird that I knew that ballad? Elle: Reid, I don't know how you know half the stuff you know, but I'm glad you do. Reid: Do you think that's why I can't get a date? Elle: Have you ever asked anyone? Reid: [Reid shifts his eyes] No. Elle: That's why you can't get a date.
Gideon: There’s someone else on the plane that’s a huge Skins fan. Reid: Who? Gideon: The only person in the world who calls you 'Spence.' Reid: ...JJ? Gideon: She's a huge Skins fan. Reid: ...What should I say? Gideon: [Looks at Reid] Reid: [looks down at chess board] Checkmate.
1x05 - Broken Mirror
Reid: I don't know everything. I mean, despite the fact that you think I do. Morgan: I never said that. When have I ever said that? Reid: Every day since I met you. Elle: This morning at breakfast. Hotchner: Yesterday when he beat you at cards.
Mr. Davenport: [talking to Reid] Excuse me c-can you actually read that fast? Reid: Our conscious mind can process 16 bits of information per second, our unconscious however can process 11 million. [Mr. Davenport looks over at Gideon with a questioning look] Reid: Yes, I can actually read this fast.
Elle: [regarding Cheryl claiming that she can feel when something is wrong with her twin] You think Cheryl's a wackjob because she says she can feel her sister's anxiety? Morgan: I never said wackjob [Reid walks in] Reid: Actually there may be a physiological basis for it.. reuniting with her sister. Morgan: Don't ask. Reid: Reversed egg symmetry, eggs split late between 9 to 12 days, the DNA matches right down to the last stranded code, there are sporadic documents of shared physiological pain. Morgan: And you believe it? Reid: No I'm just saying its possible...
1x06 - L.D.S.K.
Hotchner: Well, I wouldn't have kept kicking you, I was afraid you didn't get my plan. Reid: I got your plan the minute you moved the hostages out of my line of fire. Hotchner: Well I hope I didn't hurt you too badly. Reid: Hotch, I was a twelve year old child prodigy in a Las Vegas public high school. You kick like a nine year old girl.
Reid: I know I should feel bad about what happened. I mean, I killed a man. You know, I should feel something...but I don't. Gideon: Not knowing what you feel, that’s not the same as not feeling anything.
Hotchner: You ok? Nice shot. Reid: I was aiming for his leg.
Gideon: This is going to hit you, and when it does, there's only three facts you need to know. You did what you had to do, and a lot of good people are alive because of what you did. Reid: What's the third? Gideon: I'm proud of you.
1x07 - The Fox
JJ: (discussing Hotch's newborn baby) He's so gorgeous. Haley: Thank you. Reid: If you find baldness and wrinkles attractive.
Reid: Nobody takes therapy these days without a healthy dose of medication. Garcia: What are you implying, Reid? Reid: That everyone is medicated. Garcia: Did you just make a joke? Reid: No, I mean, statistics, they-they show it- Garcia: Reid, next time just say yes.
Morgan: That's what everybody says until they find the body in the basement.
Morgan: You move, I'm gonna break your neck.
Reid: Are you hacking into the government HMO database? Is that legal? Garcia: Of course not. We'll both go to prison and you'll become someone's *****. Reid: ...Really?
1x08 - Natural Born Killer
Hotchner: You were just responding to what you learned Vincent. When you grow up in an environment like that, an extremely abusive and violent household.. it's not surprising that some people grow up to become killers. Vincent: Some people? Hotchner: What's that? Vincent: You said some people grow up to become killers. Hotchner: ...And some people grow up to catch them.
[Garcia enters the room with a cardboard box.] Derek: Please tell me you brought some breakfast. Garcia: Trust me, sugar. You're not going to want to eat when you see what's in here.
Russo: Look, I don't speak smart ass. So, you got something to say to me?
Elle: Here's something...[puts her coffee cup on Garcia's desk]...What can you tell me about Vincent Sartori? [Garcia chucks coffee cup in the bin] Elle: I was still drinking that. Garcia: Not only is this equipment expensive, it's also extremely sensitive. [Spencer and Elle share a weird look]
[Elle is speaking about a criminal's sealed records] Elle: Can you get into those records? Spencer: Despite the fact that they were probably expunged, she can find the faintest echo of deletion, successfully recreate the file, thereby sending us all to prison for computer felony fraud counts. [Elle and Garcia share a weird look] Elle: We can make bail.
1x09 - Derailed
Reid: Tardive Dyskinesia Morgan: Once more for those without an encyclopedic memory?
Morgan: And remember, play into the guy's fantasy, believe it yourself. Reid: Actually, did you know that dentists and surgeons have been secretly recruited to implant these during otherwise normal medical procedures? This has been happening on and off since the late 1930s. [Morgan looks at him] Told me to believe.
Reid: Could at least one of you look like you're going to see me again?
Morgan: Come on, Reid, what are you talking about, a magic trick? Reid: Yeah I'm talkin' about a magic trick!
Elle: Gideon, will you tell him that I don't need to go to the hospital? Gideon: Regulations are regulations. You all right? Elle: I'm fine, Dad. Gideon: Elle? Elle: Yeah? Gideon: Don't ever call me Dad again. [Gideon walks away] Elle: I wonder how he'd feel about Mom? Reid: Let me know when you're going to do that so I can, uh, run.
Elle: Um, Reid you probably saved my life in there. Reid: Probably? I totally saved your life. And I'm pretty certain it's caught on tape.
1x10 - The Popular Kids
Morgan: So tell me, what does keep young Dr. Reid awake at night? Wait, let me guess. Memorizing some obscure textbook? No, no, no. Working on cold fusion? No, I got it, I got it, I got it. Watching Star Trek and laughing at all the Physics mistakes? Reid: Actually, there aren't that many scientific errors in Star Trek. Especially considering how long ago it was made. There are certain improbabilities, but not that many outright errors. Morgan: Right.
Gideon: [after finding out the local kids found a dead body in the woods and watched it decompose over a long period of time without reporting anything] This was a human being!
1x11 - Blood Hungry
Gideon: Garcia? Hotchner: Penelope...? The tech with the glasses...? Gideon: The room...the one with all the screens...? [Hotchner nods] She's great.
[Morgan walks in and startles Elle] Elle: Dude! Morgan: Dude? You're way too tense.
Hotchner: How is it having Gideon around? Garcia: You can have him back whenever you would like.
Hotchner: Sometimes what we don't do is every bit as powerful as what we do.
1x12 - What Fresh Hell?
Journalist: Come on, JJ. Gimme something. For old times sake. JJ: [sighs] Okay... [looks around, steps closer, whispers]) You may wanna rethink that tie.
Gideon: Hey Hotch, did you send flowers to that tech room girl Garcia and say they were from me? Hotchner: Yeah. Gideon: Why? Hotchner: Jason, people need to know that they're important and sometimes you forget that. Gideon: I already sent her a gift, an MP3 player. It lasts longer unless you drop it or the batteries die, whichever comes first. Hotchner: So she got two gifts? Gideon: What if she thinks I'm sweet on her!
1x13 - Poison
1x14 - Riding the Lightning
1x15 - Unfinished Business
Reid: What do you think of Ryan? Hotchner: He hasn't changed much. Reid: I think we can learn a lot from him. Hotchner: What could you possibly learn that you don't already know? Reid: Hotch, repetitive thinking is a death knell for the brain. For complete brain usage, diverse stimulation is the key.
Ryan: [reading second note] In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present. Gideon: He's quoting Sir Francis Bacon now. Ryan: I used this specific quote in my... Reid: In your book on page 184. I read it on the plane. Ryan: And you remember the page number and the quote? Morgan: Don't ask.
Morgan: So they've been here all night? Hotchner: Apparently. Elle: Where else would any of us be on a Saturday night? It's not like we have lives or anything. Morgan: Speak for yourself.
Ryan: Miss me? Gideon: No. Ryan: Just here to buy a book then, huh? Gideon: What can I say? Profilers, they fascinate me.
Gideon: Norman Maclean wrote, "It is those we live with and love and should know who elude us."
Gideon: Hmm...You look comfortable up there. Why don't you come back to the BAU for a guest lecture? Ryan: I'm retired, remember? Gideon: Hell of a way to relax, 323 pages on the one that got away. Ryan: He hasn't gotten away - and you didn't count that eight page prologue.
1x16 - The Tribe
Blackwolf: [to Gideon] You look like a college professor. [to Reid] You look like his student. [to Hotchner] You look like FBI.
Blackwolf: We don't do massacres. You do. Hotchner: Me personally? Blackwolf: Your government.
Officer: Are you trying to tell us that Indians wouldn’t be so brutal? Blackwolf: No, I’m saying that Indians wouldn’t be so confused.
Hotchner: This is a surprise. Haven’t cut your hair since Thanksgiving. Sean: That’s what you said at Christmas.
Sean: You saying that I can't take care of myself? Hotchner: No. This is my way of saying that I'm a jackass. Sean: I guess it's hereditary.
JJ: That’s Hotch’s brother? I don’t see it. Hotchner: Sean, listen to me. All I’m saying is that you’re 25 years old. Sean: You know what? Don’t profile me Aaron. [storms away] JJ: Now I see it.
Elle: Brother, as in that’s Hotch’s brother? Garcia: Maybe Hotch is adopted?
Gideon: Are the Ga'he good spirits or bad spirits? Blackwolf: They're both. Like men.
Blackwolf: Samuel, tell the men from the FBI who the Ga'he are. Reid: The Ga'he are mighty spirits who dwell in desert caves. Hotchner: Reid, is your name Samuel? Reid: Sorry
Reid: She's answering every question with just her name and Social Security Number. Hotchner: Like a prisoner of war.
Gideon: The children? Hotchner: Fine, we got them out before they got here. We took down these four. Reid: Without firing a shot? Blackwolf: Captain America here shot number 5. Hotchner: You’re welcome.
Blackwolf: I have other options besides shooting a man. Reid: Like negotiating. Blackwolf: Like running.
Blackwolf: There are many paths to the same place. Trust me. Hotchner: Just so you know, you sound like a fortune cookie.
1x17 - A Real Rain
Morgan: Do you have any idea how many cases run through there every year? Garcia: 122,998.
Hotchner: You’re a genius. Garcia: You’re just saying that ‘cause it’s true.
Reid: I'd like to see New York. Morgan: You've never been to New York? Reid: We've never had an unsub there. Hotchner: [to Gideon] I thought you were going to talk to Reid about taking some vacation time. Gideon: What's vacation time?
Elle: You guys, we're here in New York and even when we aren't talking about our case we end up talking about another profiler. Hotchner: You’re right. So Elle, you seeing anyone?
Reid: [to the waitress, after having difficulty with his chopsticks] Excuse me, could I get a fork perhaps? [group laughs] Did you know that experts credit Confucius with the advent of the chopstick. He equated knives with acts of aggression. Morgan: You don't know how to use them, do ya? Reid: It's like trying to forage for dinner with a pair of number two pencils. It’s absolutely incredible, 1.3 billion people stay nourished because of these things.
Officer: So are we looking for an ex-con or some nut job with an Amazon account?
Female Officer: [after hearing the unsub's profile] So we're looking for a small, angry, white guy with a day job?
Hotchner: Ok, here's what we know. Blitz attackers are almost always male. Morgan: Well, he got picked up in the pouring rain by a New York cabbie, so we definitely know he's not a brother.
1x18 - Somebody's Watching
Reid: Gideon, there are actually people taking photos of us from the next yard. Detective Owen Kim: Welcome to LA.
[Reid is trying unsuccessfully to convince Lila to come out of her swimming pool] Lila: Really, Spencer, you should live a little. Reid: Live a little? I've known you for 48 hours and I feel like I've aged 10 years!
Garcia: [answering phone] Oracle of Quantico. Speak if you deign to hear truth.
Morgan: [mimicking Lila after she shares Reid's drink] You don't mind sharing with me, do ya? Reid: Shut up. [turns and walks away] Morgan: Go get 'em, lover.
[The artist has just mentioned that she thinks her picture is boring] Gideon: Oh, I don't think so. I mean nothing's just a picture. If viewed correctly--whatever that means--one can see world views, obsessions, manifestations of the subconscious.
Gideon: We're leaving. Reid: We're still looking at the exhibit. Gideon: Now. [Reid turns to Lila and back to Gideon] Now. Now. Reid: I guess we're leaving. Gideon: Reid, now.
Parker Dunley: Spencer. Spencer Reid. Dude, dude. Look at you. You look just the same. Look at you dude, nothing’s changed. [to Gideon] Spencer was the only twelve year old in our graduating class. [to Reid again] Just the same.
Reid: Do I look twelve years old to you? Gideon: ...Fourteen?
1x19 - Machismo
Haley: Go, it’s all right. I’m not mad. [walks away] Hotchner: You heard her. She said it was all right. Jessica: You’re one hell of a profiler.
Jessica: You’re holding him like a cantaloupe. Hotchner: Why? You think you can do better? Here you go, smartypants. [Baby quiets down in her arms] Hotchner: Fine. Let’s see you profile a disorganized psychopath.
Morgan: Nothing like jet sleep, right? Elle: Yeah, kind of like a night of drinking without the drinking.
[Garcia rattles off some bad Spanish] Morgan: Easy there, Garcia. I think you just offended somebody’s mother. Garcia: Shut up you. I took French. What can I say? Morgan: Penelope, your last name is Garcia. Garcia: Yeah, I know. It’s my stepfather’s name. Do you want my genius or not?
JJ: At least you get to spend your birthday weekend in Mexico. Hotch: How do you say 'doghouse' in Spanish? Reid: La ca-sa del pair-o Elle: La casita del perro. Reid: That's what I said Elle: Face it chico, you are only a genius in English
Elle: [upon seeing the skeleton] Hotch! Hotchner: A little late.
Hotchner: Serial killers make lousy tourist attractions.
Gideon: In my experience, evil is not a cultural phenomenon - it's a human one.
1x20 - Charm and Harm
Morgan: Why are you acting so weird? Elle: We're sitting with a guy who knows that there are 800 kernels of corn on the average cob... Reid: ...Arranged in 16 separate rows. Elle: And you're calling me weird?
Gideon: [after finding Gregory's fake IDs] Look at all these driver's licenses, he could start his own DMV.
Garcia: Aaron, do you have any idea how many people drown every day? Hotchner: Well, yeah. They’re more in the summer for obvious reasons, but I think it averages to about 6500 a year, which is... 17 a day? Garcia: Is this Reid?
[Elle's phone rings] Morgan: Aww, that must be the boyfriend. Elle: Yes, it is. [answers phone] Hey, Gideon.
Doug Gregory: Are you telling me that young boys aren’t curious? Gideon: Sure, they’re curious, but not all peek into windows.
Elle: You really don't know someone till you take a road trip with them. Morgan: What are you trying to say? Elle: Look at this car, man. There's empty soda cans and fast food wrappers everywhere. You're a slob. You know, back at Quantico your desk was all neat, but I bet if you looked in those drawers you'd find a mess. Morgan: Okay, we have been on the road way too long.
Reid: How old was he when this happened? Doug Gregory: Ten. Reid: Were they close? Doug Gregory: She was his mother!
1x21 - Secrets and Lies
Gideon: Only beach you’ll see is on a postcard I send you from my vacation.
JJ: What do you suppose this is about? Reid: Call me cynical, but considering it's 2 a.m., I doubt it's good news. JJ: You are a genius.
Elle: [to Gideon] You said you would send a postcard from a beach. You lied. Reid: Yeah. You hate the beach.
Gideon: One thing I've learned over the years profiling CIA agents, spies are some of the smartest liars in the world. Be smarter.
Garcia: Hey, you know what this means? We can find out if Princess Diana's death really was accidental! JJ: I think this is exactly what got you on the list.
Reid: [after learning the CIA staged the victim's suicide] Boy, I'm glad not to have that job.
1x22 - The Fisher King (Part 1)
Morgan: [about Reid] He look OK to you? Elle: He looks about the way I would if I was gonna spend two weeks with my family.
JJ: [about the incredible Sir Kneighf] Please don’t tell me you have a crush on a fictional character. Garcia: He’s not fictional. He’s the online alter-ego of a real person. JJ: Hmmm, you don’t even know anything about him, even if it is…him. Garcia: Look, we meet online at specified times that he is never late to. We spend hours adventuring and chatting during which time I have his undivided attention and he lavishes me with flattery. When was the last time you had a date go that well? JJ: See if he’s got a fictional brother.
Morgan: Well, you all right there, Greenaway? Elle: Go away. Morgan: See you tomorrow? Elle: Afternoon. Guy: Afternoon? Elle: Don't speak.
Elle: [after Reid explains the medieval significance of the word "non"] Reid, do not ever go away again!
Jamaican Cop: Where is the victim’s head? Elle: Well, I must have dropped it on my way in here.
Killer: [on videotape] You will understand why it must be this way. You may even thank me. Elle: Don't hold your breath, scumbag.

Season 1

1x01 - Extreme Aggressor

Hotchner: This is Special Agent Spencer Reid.
Gideon: Doctor Reid.
Hotchner: Doctor Reid, our expert in just about everything.

Hotchner: This is Dr. Reid
Heather’s Brother: Doctor? You seem too young to have gotten into Medical school...
Reid:There are PhD's. Three of them.
Heather’s Brother: Are you a genius or something?
Reid:I don’t believe that intelligence can be accurately quantified, but I do have an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory and can read 20,000 words per minute. [gets a weird look] Yes, I’m a genius.

Morgan: Reid, are you good with this? We’ve got a woman who’s only got a few hours left to live, an incomplete profile, and a Unit Chief on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
Gideon: [enters the room] They don’t call them nervous breakdowns anymore.
Reid: It's called a major depressive episode.

Morgan: [to Elle] Next time, show a little leg.

Gideon: "Try again. Fail again. Fail better."
Reid: Samuel Beckett.
Morgan: "Try not. Do or do not."
Reid: Yoda.

Garcia: You've reached Penelope Garcia in the FBI's office of Supreme Genius.
Morgan: Hey it's Morgan. I need you to work some magic here. I've got a program called Deadbolt Defence and a girl with only a couple hours to live so what do you know?
Garcia: You've got a problem. Deadbolt's the number one password crack-resistant software out there. You're gonna have to get inside this guy's head to get the password.
Morgan: I thought I was calling the office of Supreme Genius.
Garcia: Well gorgeous, you've been re-routed to the office of Too Frickin' Bad.

Reid: [referring to Gideon] Do you know why he calls me Dr. Reid?
Hotchner: Because they just see you as a kid. He wants them to treat you with respect.

1x02 - Compulsion

Elle: Chemical accelerant could mean chemistry student.
Reid: It could also mean chemistry professor.
Elle: I say student. You need self-confidence to lecture in front of a classroom full of 30 college kids. Arsonists are socially incompetent. This guy doesn’t go on dates, doesn’t go to parties, doesn’t feel comfortable in front of groups. [Reid looks at Elle] And of course he’s a total psychopath.
Reid: Of course.

Patrol Guy: You’re one of those FBI guys. A profiler, right? Like, one look at the crime scene you can tell what kind of shampoo a killer uses.
Gideon: You’re a bit skeptical.
Patrol Guy: Maybe a little.
Gideon: Your girlfriend thinks you’re going to break up with her.
Patrol Guy: You’re kidding, right?
(Later)
Gideon: You broke up with her. No more necklace.
Patrol Guy: Yeah, I kinda wanted to date someone else.
Gideon: What's her name?
Patrol Guy: Brian
Gideon: Oh. Well, that's... That's a pretty good reason.

Garcia: Okay, you know how on Star Trek when Captain Kirk asked McCoy to do something totally impossible, and McCoy says, 'Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor not a miracle worker?'
Morgan: Hey, what are you telling me? Not to expect a miracle?
Garcia: No, I'm saying I'm not a doctor.
Morgan: That's my girl.

Elle: Well, what is the most sinful place on campus?
Morgan: Come on Elle, when I was in college it was everywhere.

Morgan: You know there’s got to be a faster way to do this. How about we just change the first question to ‘have you recently dated a homicidal pyromaniac?’

Gideon: No badges. I don’t want to satisfy the unsub’s need for attention by letting him know the FBI is here. Try not to look official. [looks at the team] Try to look less official.

Student: Clara, is the building on fire?
Clara: Not yet.

Garcia: If I figure it out does it earn me a night of passionate love-making?
Morgan: Most definitely, Sweetness. With Reid.

Gideon: You rely too much on precedent, you never allow for the unexpected.

1x03 - Won't Get Fooled Again

Mrs. Walker: Are you single?
Elle: Yes.
Mrs. Walker: I have a word of advice. Don’t marry the first guy that proposes.

Elle: I may have something. Barbara Keller was having some trouble insuring some coins she bought. The insurance company thought they might be fake.
Hotchner: So the insurance company is blowing up annoying clients?

Morgan: My bomb fragments, let’s start putting this bad boy together.
Garcia: Why bother, don’t you just dust for prints and...stuff?
Morgan: Garcia, what are you doing in the FBI?
Garcia: I didn’t get into medical school.

[Piecing together the bomb]
Garcia:: If there was a longer rod it could have fit here and gone all the way through.
[Morgan looks a her in surprise]
Garcia: Tetris.

1x04 - Plain Sight

Gideon: Finding new ways to hurt each other is what we're good at.

Morgan: Why the Tommy Killer?
Hotchner: You know the rock opera? Well, this unsub glues his victim's eyes wide open.
Reid: He wants them to see him.
Gideon: And feel them.

Hotchner: [about Reid] Isn't it amazing he knows what he knows and he's only 24?
Gideon: Imagine what he'll know by fifty.

Elle: [seeing Reid having trouble blowing out the candles] I thought you were full of hot air, Reid.

Reid: [to Gideon, after JJ says "Spence, first piece for the birthday boy"] She's the only person in the whole world who calls me Spence.

Morgan: I hate not having a plan. We’re looking for a needle in a haystack.
Reid: Actually, it’s more like we’re looking for a needle in a pile of needles.
Morgan: What?
Reid: A needle would stand out in a haystack.
Morgan: [laughs] Okay and we're not looking for someone who stands out?
Reid: No it's more like we're looking for a particular needle in a pile of needles.

Reid: You should see what comes up when you type "death" into a search engine.
Morgan: No wonder you can't get a date.

Reid: Do you think it's weird that I knew that ballad?
Elle: Reid, I don't know how you know half the stuff you know, but I'm glad you do.
Reid: Do you think that's why I can't get a date?
Elle: Have you ever asked anyone?
Reid: [Reid shifts his eyes] No.
Elle: That's why you can't get a date.

Gideon: There’s someone else on the plane that’s a huge Skins fan.
Reid: Who?
Gideon: The only person in the world who calls you 'Spence.'
Reid: ...JJ?
Gideon: She's a huge Skins fan.
Reid: ...What should I say?
Gideon: [Looks at Reid]
Reid: [looks down at chess board] Checkmate.

1x05 - Broken Mirror

Reid: I don't know everything. I mean, despite the fact that you think I do.
Morgan: I never said that. When have I ever said that?
Reid: Every day since I met you.
Elle: This morning at breakfast.
Hotchner: Yesterday when he beat you at cards.

Mr. Davenport: [talking to Reid] Excuse me c-can you actually read that fast?
Reid: Our conscious mind can process 16 bits of information per second, our unconscious however can process 11 million.
[Mr. Davenport looks over at Gideon with a questioning look]
Reid: Yes, I can actually read this fast.

Elle: [regarding Cheryl claiming that she can feel when something is wrong with her twin] You think Cheryl's a wackjob because she says she can feel her sister's anxiety?
Morgan: I never said wackjob
[Reid walks in]
Reid: Actually there may be a physiological basis for it.. reuniting with her sister.
Morgan: Don't ask.
Reid: Reversed egg symmetry, eggs split late between 9 to 12 days, the DNA matches right down to the last stranded code, there are sporadic documents of shared physiological pain.
Morgan: And you believe it?
Reid: No I'm just saying its possible...

1x06 - L.D.S.K.

Hotchner: Well, I wouldn't have kept kicking you, I was afraid you didn't get my plan.
Reid: I got your plan the minute you moved the hostages out of my line of fire.
Hotchner: Well I hope I didn't hurt you too badly.
Reid: Hotch, I was a twelve year old child prodigy in a Las Vegas public high school. You kick like a nine year old girl.

Reid: I know I should feel bad about what happened. I mean, I killed a man. You know, I should feel something...but I don't.
Gideon: Not knowing what you feel, that’s not the same as not feeling anything.

Hotchner: You ok? Nice shot.
Reid: I was aiming for his leg.

Gideon: This is going to hit you, and when it does, there's only three facts you need to know. You did what you had to do, and a lot of good people are alive because of what you did.
Reid: What's the third?
Gideon: I'm proud of you.

1x07 - The Fox

JJ: (discussing Hotch's newborn baby) He's so gorgeous.
Haley: Thank you.
Reid: If you find baldness and wrinkles attractive.

Reid: Nobody takes therapy these days without a healthy dose of medication.
Garcia: What are you implying, Reid?
Reid: That everyone is medicated.
Garcia: Did you just make a joke?
Reid: No, I mean, statistics, they-they show it-
Garcia: Reid, next time just say yes.

Morgan: That's what everybody says until they find the body in the basement.

Morgan: You move, I'm gonna break your neck.

Reid: Are you hacking into the government HMO database? Is that legal?
Garcia: Of course not. We'll both go to prison and you'll become someone's *****.
Reid: ...Really?

1x08 - Natural Born Killer

Hotchner: You were just responding to what you learned Vincent. When you grow up in an environment like that, an extremely abusive and violent household.. it's not surprising that some people grow up to become killers.
Vincent: Some people?
Hotchner: What's that?
Vincent: You said some people grow up to become killers.
Hotchner: ...And some people grow up to catch them.

[Garcia enters the room with a cardboard box.]
Derek: Please tell me you brought some breakfast.
Garcia: Trust me, sugar. You're not going to want to eat when you see what's in here.

Russo: Look, I don't speak smart ass. So, you got something to say to me?

Elle: Here's something...[puts her coffee cup on Garcia's desk]...What can you tell me about Vincent Sartori?
[Garcia chucks coffee cup in the bin]
Elle: I was still drinking that.
Garcia: Not only is this equipment expensive, it's also extremely sensitive.
[Spencer and Elle share a weird look]

[Elle is speaking about a criminal's sealed records]
Elle: Can you get into those records?
Spencer: Despite the fact that they were probably expunged, she can find the faintest echo of deletion, successfully recreate the file, thereby sending us all to prison for computer felony fraud counts.
[Elle and Garcia share a weird look]
Elle: We can make bail.

1x09 - Derailed

Reid: Tardive Dyskinesia
Morgan: Once more for those without an encyclopedic memory?

Morgan: And remember, play into the guy's fantasy, believe it yourself.
Reid: Actually, did you know that dentists and surgeons have been secretly recruited to implant these during otherwise normal medical procedures? This has been happening on and off since the late 1930s. [Morgan looks at him] Told me to believe.

Reid: Could at least one of you look like you're going to see me again?

Morgan: Come on, Reid, what are you talking about, a magic trick?
Reid: Yeah I'm talkin' about a magic trick!

Elle: Gideon, will you tell him that I don't need to go to the hospital?
Gideon: Regulations are regulations. You all right?
Elle: I'm fine, Dad.
Gideon: Elle?
Elle: Yeah?
Gideon: Don't ever call me Dad again.
[Gideon walks away]
Elle: I wonder how he'd feel about Mom?
Reid: Let me know when you're going to do that so I can, uh, run.

Elle: Um, Reid you probably saved my life in there.
Reid: Probably? I totally saved your life. And I'm pretty certain it's caught on tape.

1x10 - The Popular Kids

Morgan: So tell me, what does keep young Dr. Reid awake at night? Wait, let me guess. Memorizing some obscure textbook? No, no, no. Working on cold fusion? No, I got it, I got it, I got it. Watching Star Trek and laughing at all the Physics mistakes?
Reid: Actually, there aren't that many scientific errors in Star Trek. Especially considering how long ago it was made. There are certain improbabilities, but not that many outright errors.
Morgan: Right.

Gideon: [after finding out the local kids found a dead body in the woods and watched it decompose over a long period of time without reporting anything] This was a human being!

1x11 - Blood Hungry

Gideon: Garcia?
Hotchner: Penelope...? The tech with the glasses...?
Gideon: The room...the one with all the screens...? [Hotchner nods] She's great.

[Morgan walks in and startles Elle]
Elle: Dude!
Morgan: Dude? You're way too tense.

Hotchner: How is it having Gideon around?
Garcia: You can have him back whenever you would like.

Hotchner: Sometimes what we don't do is every bit as powerful as what we do.

1x12 - What Fresh Hell?

Journalist: Come on, JJ. Gimme something. For old times sake.
JJ: [sighs] Okay... [looks around, steps closer, whispers]) You may wanna rethink that tie.

Gideon: Hey Hotch, did you send flowers to that tech room girl Garcia and say they were from me?
Hotchner: Yeah.
Gideon: Why?
Hotchner: Jason, people need to know that they're important and sometimes you forget that.
Gideon: I already sent her a gift, an MP3 player. It lasts longer unless you drop it or the batteries die, whichever comes first.
Hotchner: So she got two gifts?
Gideon: What if she thinks I'm sweet on her!

1x13 - Poison

1x14 - Riding the Lightning

1x15 - Unfinished Business

Reid: What do you think of Ryan?
Hotchner: He hasn't changed much.
Reid: I think we can learn a lot from him.
Hotchner: What could you possibly learn that you don't already know?
Reid: Hotch, repetitive thinking is a death knell for the brain. For complete brain usage, diverse stimulation is the key.

Ryan: [reading second note] In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present.
Gideon: He's quoting Sir Francis Bacon now.
Ryan: I used this specific quote in my...
Reid: In your book on page 184. I read it on the plane.
Ryan: And you remember the page number and the quote?
Morgan: Don't ask.

Morgan: So they've been here all night?
Hotchner: Apparently.
Elle: Where else would any of us be on a Saturday night? It's not like we have lives or anything.
Morgan: Speak for yourself.

Ryan: Miss me?
Gideon: No.
Ryan: Just here to buy a book then, huh?
Gideon: What can I say? Profilers, they fascinate me.

Gideon: Norman Maclean wrote, "It is those we live with and love and should know who elude us."

Gideon: Hmm...You look comfortable up there. Why don't you come back to the BAU for a guest lecture?
Ryan: I'm retired, remember?
Gideon: Hell of a way to relax, 323 pages on the one that got away.
Ryan: He hasn't gotten away - and you didn't count that eight page prologue.

1x16 - The Tribe

Blackwolf: [to Gideon] You look like a college professor. [to Reid] You look like his student. [to Hotchner] You look like FBI.

Blackwolf: We don't do massacres. You do.
Hotchner: Me personally?
Blackwolf: Your government.

Officer: Are you trying to tell us that Indians wouldn’t be so brutal?
Blackwolf: No, I’m saying that Indians wouldn’t be so confused.

Hotchner: This is a surprise. Haven’t cut your hair since Thanksgiving.
Sean: That’s what you said at Christmas.

Sean: You saying that I can't take care of myself?
Hotchner: No. This is my way of saying that I'm a jackass.
Sean: I guess it's hereditary.

JJ: That’s Hotch’s brother? I don’t see it.
Hotchner: Sean, listen to me. All I’m saying is that you’re 25 years old.
Sean: You know what? Don’t profile me Aaron. [storms away]
JJ: Now I see it.

Elle: Brother, as in that’s Hotch’s brother?
Garcia: Maybe Hotch is adopted?

Gideon: Are the Ga'he good spirits or bad spirits?
Blackwolf: They're both. Like men.

Blackwolf: Samuel, tell the men from the FBI who the Ga'he are.
Reid: The Ga'he are mighty spirits who dwell in desert caves.
Hotchner: Reid, is your name Samuel?
Reid: Sorry

Reid: She's answering every question with just her name and Social Security Number.
Hotchner: Like a prisoner of war.

Gideon: The children?
Hotchner: Fine, we got them out before they got here. We took down these four.
Reid: Without firing a shot?
Blackwolf: Captain America here shot number 5.
Hotchner: You’re welcome.

Blackwolf: I have other options besides shooting a man.
Reid: Like negotiating.
Blackwolf: Like running.

Blackwolf: There are many paths to the same place. Trust me.
Hotchner: Just so you know, you sound like a fortune cookie.

1x17 - A Real Rain

Morgan: Do you have any idea how many cases run through there every year?
Garcia: 122,998.

Hotchner: You’re a genius.
Garcia: You’re just saying that ‘cause it’s true.

Reid: I'd like to see New York.
Morgan: You've never been to New York?
Reid: We've never had an unsub there.
Hotchner: [to Gideon] I thought you were going to talk to Reid about taking some vacation time.
Gideon: What's vacation time?

Elle: You guys, we're here in New York and even when we aren't talking about our case we end up talking about another profiler.
Hotchner: You’re right. So Elle, you seeing anyone?

Reid: [to the waitress, after having difficulty with his chopsticks] Excuse me, could I get a fork perhaps? [group laughs] Did you know that experts credit Confucius with the advent of the chopstick. He equated knives with acts of aggression.
Morgan: You don't know how to use them, do ya?
Reid: It's like trying to forage for dinner with a pair of number two pencils. It’s absolutely incredible, 1.3 billion people stay nourished because of these things.

Officer: So are we looking for an ex-con or some nut job with an Amazon account?

Female Officer: [after hearing the unsub's profile] So we're looking for a small, angry, white guy with a day job?

Hotchner: Ok, here's what we know. Blitz attackers are almost always male.
Morgan: Well, he got picked up in the pouring rain by a New York cabbie, so we definitely know he's not a brother.

1x18 - Somebody's Watching

Reid: Gideon, there are actually people taking photos of us from the next yard.
Detective Owen Kim: Welcome to LA.

[Reid is trying unsuccessfully to convince Lila to come out of her swimming pool]
Lila: Really, Spencer, you should live a little.
Reid: Live a little? I've known you for 48 hours and I feel like I've aged 10 years!

Garcia: [answering phone] Oracle of Quantico. Speak if you deign to hear truth.

Morgan: [mimicking Lila after she shares Reid's drink] You don't mind sharing with me, do ya?
Reid: Shut up. [turns and walks away]
Morgan: Go get 'em, lover.

[The artist has just mentioned that she thinks her picture is boring]
Gideon: Oh, I don't think so. I mean nothing's just a picture. If viewed correctly--whatever that means--one can see world views, obsessions, manifestations of the subconscious.

Gideon: We're leaving.
Reid: We're still looking at the exhibit.
Gideon: Now. [Reid turns to Lila and back to Gideon] Now. Now.
Reid: I guess we're leaving.
Gideon: Reid, now.

Parker Dunley: Spencer. Spencer Reid. Dude, dude. Look at you. You look just the same. Look at you dude, nothing’s changed. [to Gideon] Spencer was the only twelve year old in our graduating class. [to Reid again] Just the same.

Reid: Do I look twelve years old to you?
Gideon: ...Fourteen?

1x19 - Machismo

Haley: Go, it’s all right. I’m not mad. [walks away]
Hotchner: You heard her. She said it was all right.
Jessica: You’re one hell of a profiler.

Jessica: You’re holding him like a cantaloupe.
Hotchner: Why? You think you can do better? Here you go, smartypants.
[Baby quiets down in her arms]
Hotchner: Fine. Let’s see you profile a disorganized psychopath.

Morgan: Nothing like jet sleep, right?
Elle: Yeah, kind of like a night of drinking without the drinking.

[Garcia rattles off some bad Spanish]
Morgan: Easy there, Garcia. I think you just offended somebody’s mother.
Garcia: Shut up you. I took French. What can I say?
Morgan: Penelope, your last name is Garcia.
Garcia: Yeah, I know. It’s my stepfather’s name. Do you want my genius or not?

JJ: At least you get to spend your birthday weekend in Mexico.
Hotch: How do you say 'doghouse' in Spanish?
Reid: La ca-sa del pair-o
Elle: La casita del perro.
Reid: That's what I said
Elle: Face it chico, you are only a genius in English

Elle: [upon seeing the skeleton] Hotch!
Hotchner: A little late.

Hotchner: Serial killers make lousy tourist attractions.

Gideon: In my experience, evil is not a cultural phenomenon - it's a human one.

1x20 - Charm and Harm

Morgan: Why are you acting so weird?
Elle: We're sitting with a guy who knows that there are 800 kernels of corn on the average cob...
Reid: ...Arranged in 16 separate rows.
Elle: And you're calling me weird?

Gideon: [after finding Gregory's fake IDs] Look at all these driver's licenses, he could start his own DMV.

Garcia: Aaron, do you have any idea how many people drown every day?
Hotchner: Well, yeah. They’re more in the summer for obvious reasons, but I think it averages to about 6500 a year, which is... 17 a day?
Garcia: Is this Reid?

[Elle's phone rings]
Morgan: Aww, that must be the boyfriend.
Elle: Yes, it is. [answers phone] Hey, Gideon.

Doug Gregory: Are you telling me that young boys aren’t curious?
Gideon: Sure, they’re curious, but not all peek into windows.

Elle: You really don't know someone till you take a road trip with them.
Morgan: What are you trying to say?
Elle: Look at this car, man. There's empty soda cans and fast food wrappers everywhere. You're a slob. You know, back at Quantico your desk was all neat, but I bet if you looked in those drawers you'd find a mess.
Morgan: Okay, we have been on the road way too long.

Reid: How old was he when this happened?
Doug Gregory: Ten.
Reid: Were they close?
Doug Gregory: She was his mother!

1x21 - Secrets and Lies

Gideon: Only beach you’ll see is on a postcard I send you from my vacation.

JJ: What do you suppose this is about?
Reid: Call me cynical, but considering it's 2 a.m., I doubt it's good news.
JJ: You are a genius.

Elle: [to Gideon] You said you would send a postcard from a beach. You lied.
Reid: Yeah. You hate the beach.

Gideon: One thing I've learned over the years profiling CIA agents, spies are some of the smartest liars in the world. Be smarter.

Garcia: Hey, you know what this means? We can find out if Princess Diana's death really was accidental!
JJ: I think this is exactly what got you on the list.

Reid: [after learning the CIA staged the victim's suicide] Boy, I'm glad not to have that job.

1x22 - The Fisher King (Part 1)

Morgan: [about Reid] He look OK to you?
Elle: He looks about the way I would if I was gonna spend two weeks with my family.

JJ: [about the incredible Sir Kneighf] Please don’t tell me you have a crush on a fictional character.
Garcia: He’s not fictional. He’s the online alter-ego of a real person.
JJ: Hmmm, you don’t even know anything about him, even if it is…him.
Garcia: Look, we meet online at specified times that he is never late to. We spend hours adventuring and chatting during which time I have his undivided attention and he lavishes me with flattery. When was the last time you had a date go that well?
JJ: See if he’s got a fictional brother.

Morgan: Well, you all right there, Greenaway?
Elle: Go away.
Morgan: See you tomorrow?
Elle: Afternoon.
Guy: Afternoon?
Elle: Don't speak.

Elle: [after Reid explains the medieval significance of the word "non"] Reid, do not ever go away again!

Jamaican Cop: Where is the victim’s head?
Elle: Well, I must have dropped it on my way in here.

Killer: [on videotape] You will understand why it must be this way. You may even thank me.
Elle: Don't hold your breath, scumbag.

2x1 The Fisher King (Part 2)
Gideon: "The defects and faults of the mind are like wounds in the body; after all imaginable care has been taken to heal them up, still there will be a scar left behind." French writer François de la Rochefoucauld.

Hotchner: He's delusional. He thinks he's a mythological king.
Gideon: But delusion and this level of organization are almost mutually exclusive.

Reid: [discussing a Chaucer poem] My mom used to read me that. It's widely considered as the first Valentine's poem.
Garcia: Your mom read you Valentine's poems? Hello, therapy.

Hotchner: What the hell was that?
Reid: He had a bomb.
Morgan: You didn't think we needed to know that?
Reid: I told you to go downstairs.
Morgan: You didn't say "bomb!"

Reid: "It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone." Rose Kennedy.

2x2 P911

Gideon: Theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer said "The test of the morality of a society is what it does for its children."
[After the team has just caught a paedophile who was auctioning off a seven year old child]]
Katie:Peter's real name is Dustyn Powers. He abducted him in Newark, New Jersey when he was one.
Gideon:Sometimes it seems there's no punishment enough.

Morgan: [to Reid] Come on genius, do something genius-like.

2x3 The Perfect Storm

Gideon: Mark Twain wrote "Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it."

Reid: Strange, in this case the abused actually became the abuser.
Garcia: Doesn't happen a lot?
Reid: One in eight.
Garcia: You found the one.

Joey Daven: This is my third strike, I am not going down for this [draws a gun]
Morgan: whoa whoa whoa! [draws gun, Gideon sloooowly draws his gun, then the officer shoots Joey Daven]
Officer: I had to do it, he wouldn't put the gun down

Hotchner: Philosopher Kahlil Gibran wrote "Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars."

2x4 Psychodrama

Hotchner: "Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth," Oscar Wilde

Hotchner: Well there's one thing I didn't tell the trainees.
Gideon: What's that?
Hotchner: We don't get paid enough.
Gideon: You got that right.

Hotchner: It doesn't make sense, they're children.
Gideon: He's playing out a fantasy.
Hotchner: Yes, but it's his fantasy and it's someone else's children.

Garcia: Uhm, pals, don't be ticked, but I think I might have missed the glaringly obvious; how would you make yourself taller without being a different person entirely or having some weird Chinese surgery?

Hotchner: It took you nine minutes to call 911.
Bank Manager: I was collecting the tapes.
Hotchner: Before you called 911?

Garcia: Hey, I got four bank robberies worth of security footage, what do you want me to do with them?
Hotchner: You know your digital perspect whatever software?
Garcia: Digital Perspective Analysis rendering?
Hotchner: Yeah.
Garcia: Honey not only do I know it, I helped develop it.

Garcia: Honey, if he opens his mouth I'll tell you the length of his teeth.
Hotchner: Just keep it clean. And don't call me "honey."

Gideon: Ready?
Morgan: Let's go rob a bank.

Gideon: Save one life, we save the world.

Hotchner: "The basis of shame is not some personal mistake of ours, but that this humiliation is seen by everyone," Milan Kundera.

2x5 The Aftermath

Morgan: Oh, one last thing. Look up the words "sexy" and "brilliant" in that computer of yours, and tell me what you come up with.
Garcia: Look at that, it's me.
Morgan: You are a goddess, woman. Ciao. [to fertility clinic patients who were listening] It was a... work call.

Gideon: Doesn't anybody ever go home?
Elle: You're here.
Gideon: Exactly. Trust me, you don't want to model your social life on mine.

Callahan: I figured you wouldn't be sleeping either.
Gideon: What are you doing here?
Callahan: I took a room on the hall.
Gideon: You live four blocks away.
Callahan: Exactly. Why be separated from the work?

Reid: Hotch is married; Morgan's... you know... Morgan.

Reid: Elle, he's dead. You're-- you're right here. You won.
Elle: [holds up glass] Then here's to winning.

Morgan: I'd like to make a request.
Garcia: With that sultry voice? You name it.

Reid: I thought maybe... you might want to talk.
Elle: Don't go all profiler on me.
Reid: Elle, you got shot in your own home, and then came back to the BAU like nothing even happened. Thinking you might want to talk isn't profiling, it's Psych 101.

Gideon: Helen Keller once said "Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it."

2x6 The Boogeyman

Reid: Garcia, I'm sitting in the dark alone, thanks.
Garcia: While you're waiting for a potential murderer to come home? Kind of dangerous. Kind of sexy.

Garcia: Reid, seriously, people that go inside that house never come out. Spoooky.
Reid: Garcia, could you at least pretend not to enjoy that rumor so much since I have actually entered that house?

Morgan: The only thing I was afraid of was the dark.
Reid: Some of us still are.

JJ: The woods were the only thing I was afraid of when I was a kid.
Morgan: Seriously? I thought you grew up in a small town.
JJ: Yeah... surrounded by woods.

Reid: Did you guys hear that Elle was cleared?
Morgan: Self-defense.
Reid: So it was a good shot?
JJ: Well, she hit what she was aiming for.
Reid: That's not what I meant.
JJ: I know.

Gideon: Why'd you hurt those kids?
Jeffrey: Because I wanted to.

Morgan: [about Elle] She almost died. I'd be drinking, too.

Morgan: [while in Finnegan's house looking at hunting trophies] When this is all said and done, I'd like to hang his head on my wall.

Morgan: [after Morgan and Reid learn the story JJ told them wasn't true] JJ, that was pretty good. Just know that paybacks are a *****.
JJ: I'm shakin'.

Morgan: Yeah Reid, why are you still afraid of the dark?
Reid: Because of the inherent absence of light!

Gideon: Unopened bowls of creamed spinach thrown into the trash, each one wrapped with duct tape.
Reid: One with each tray.
Morgan: So we're looking for a guy who really, really, hates spinach.
Reid: Who doesn't?

Elle: I really wanted to be a part of the team.
Hotchner: You were.
Elle: But when I needed the team, I was all alone. I was alone in the one place that I have the right to feel safe, and that's my home.
Elle: You know, when I first joined the team, I couldn't figure out why you never, ever smile. Now I think I'm actually gonna miss that.
Hotchner: [after Elle has walked away] I'm gonna miss you too.

Hotchner: Plato wrote "We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light."

2x7 North Mammon

JJ: Legendary basketball coach John Wooden said: "It's not so important who starts the game, but who finishes it."

Chief Yates: Listen, these people...they're my friends. They're my neighbors, good people. I don't want anybody assuming that they're involved.
Hotchner: We just got here. We're not assuming anything.

Hotchner: I thought everybody wanted to become a profiler.
JJ: Sorry.

Garcia: He who seeks the "Queen of All Knowledge," speak and be recognized.
Reid: Garcia, we're sending you some cigarettes.
Garcia: Why not a flesh-eating virus? It'll be faster and far less painful.
Reid: We need some butts rushed to the lab for DNA analysis.
Garcia: Reid... I love it when you say 'butts.'

JJ: "The ultimate choice for a man, in as much as he is driven to transcend himself, is to create or to destroy, to love or to hate." Erich Fromm

2x8 Empty Planet

Gideon: Robespierre wrote "Crime butchers innocence to secure a prize, and innocence struggles with all its might against the attempts of crime."

Garcia: Je suis toujours ici pour toi, mon cher.
Morgan: Drives me crazy when you talk that "voulez coucher" stuff to me. [teasing] Stop it.

Gideon:(to Morgan) Ever talked to someone who wants to continually show you he's smarter than you?
Morgan:(motions to Reid) Every day.

JJ: [while playing gin] Oh I'm beating you, genius.
Reid: Genius Doctor Reid let you win.
Ursula Kent: [reading the bomber's manifesto] Aside from the sections of my novel that were blatantly plagiarized, I didn't recognize anything. It's just page after page of the ravings of a lunatic.

Morgan: Hey dollface, ready to work some magic for me?
Garcia: Challenge me, you beautiful behavioral analyst.

Reid: [Referring to the bomber's phone call warning of an attack "where it all began"] So Seattle's "where it all began." Morgan: We just need to figure out what "it" is, and off the top of my head I can think of grunge music and overpriced coffee.

Dr. Cooke: A cognitive scientist at MIT once said, "Coincidences seem to be the source for some of our greatest irrationalities."
Reid: Our minds see coincidences and seek out-
Gideon: I understood him.

Reid: I need to stop by a bookstore and pick up a copy of Empty Planet. I'd like to reread it before we talk to the author... I haven't read it since I was six.
Morgan: Six? I was still riding my Big Wheeler at six years old.
Reid: Do you mind? It will only take ten minutes.
Gideon: To buy it or to read it?
Reid: Uh... both, actually.

Garcia:...A guy went crazy on a bunch of computers at a science lab, screaming, "We will soon be the slaves and the machines will be the masters." [Looking around at her many computers] Yikes. That would totally suck for me. [Whisper] I'm surrounded in here.
Morgan: Come on, what are you worried about? You've got me to protect you.
Garcia: Hah! Now that gets my blood up.

2x9 The Last Word

Hotchner: Elbert Hubbard once wrote "If men could only know each other, they would never either idolize or hate."

Hotchner: Mahatma Gandhi once said "All through history, there have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall, always."

2x10 Lessons Learned

Gideon: Dale Turner mused "Some of the best lessons are learned from past mistakes. The error of the past is the wisdom of the future."

Reid: Yet the words 'holy' and 'war' never appear together in the Qu'ran.

Gideon: We receive comfort from our prayers.
Jind Allah: We?
Gideon: Human beings. [pause] I say something wrong?
Jind Allah: You placed us on the same level.
Gideon: Aren't we?
Jind Allah: Well, here, I am thought of as less than human.
Gideon: And in your jihad, I am.

Jind Allah: Who is your worst enemy, Agent Gideon?
Gideon: It's not a who, it's a what. Ignorance.

Agent Bingaman: Two weeks ago, word got out that one of the other detainees was spilling secrets. Jind Allah managed to have a three-minute conversation with him in the shower line. That night, the other detainee committed suicide.

Garcia: Dream on, JJ. No one wants the other kids peeing in their sandbox.

Gideon: Ralph Waldo Emerson said "In order to learn the important lessons in life, one must, each day, surmount a fear."

2x11 Sex, Birth, Death

Reid: T.S. Eliot wrote "Between the idea and the reality, between the motion and the act, falls the shadow."

Gideon: This last victim definitely had a message. You don't dump a body across from the Capitol Building by accident.

Reid: I know what it's like to be afraid of your own mind.

Reid: There's nothing in the juvenile records.
Garcia: Okay, so think like a high school student.
Reid: I was 12 and hadn't gone though puberty yet when I was in high school.
Garcia: Okay, reset. I'll think like a high school student, you think like a profiler.

Reid: You're not him. Who we are is constantly evolving. I'm a lot older than you and I'm changing. This job changes me... you changed me.

Reid: [Regarding saving Nathan's life] How many people's lives did I risk in the future?
Gideon: Profiles can be wrong.
Reid: What if it's not? What if next time he kills somebody?
Gideon: Then you catch him.

Reid: T.S. Eliot wrote "Between the desire and the spasm, between the potency and the existence, between the essence and the descent, falls the shadow. This is the way the world ends."

2x12 Profiler Profiled

Morgan: All secrets are deep. All secrets become dark. That's in the nature of secrets — writer Cory Doctorow.

JJ: Nothing's happening.
Reid: Shhh watch [the rocket launches and it hits Emily in the head]
Emily: Ooh ow, what?
Reid: Oh, I am so sorry Emily!
Garcia: Don't you recognize a rocket when you see one?
Reid: I - I was merely demonstrating a physics law. I didn't mean to-
Emily: Oh show me!
Reid: Okay.. Eh turn around.
Emily: Turn around?
JJ: Yeah, he's not gonna show you how it's done.
Reid: A magician never reveals his secrets.
Emily: I thought you said this was physics?
Reid: Physics...magic !
Garcia:Trust me, it will do you no good to argue with him.

Hotchner: Physics magic?
Reid: Yes, sir.
Hotchner: Reid, we talked about this.
Reid: I'm sorry, sir.
Hotchner: [smiling] You're really starting to get some distance on these things.
Emily:So he does have a sense of humor?

Hotchner: We can't have people on this team who have secrets.
Gideon: oh come on, Hotch, we all have secrets. Would you want us profiling you?

Reid: "One begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts." It's one of Sherlock Holmes' favorite quotes.

Det. Gordinski: Did you get any sleep?
Morgan: You know I didn't.
Det. Gordinski: I slept like a baby myself. Didn't want to get out of bed.
Morgan: Really? So that wasn't your donut-eatin' ass on the other side of the glass all night then?

JJ: [to Garcia, regarding Morgan's sealed criminal record] Unseal it.
Garcia: But its a SEALED file!
JJ: Garcia, helping him.
Garcia: Right. HELPING him. HELPING him...

Morgan:[to Det. Gordinski] The FBI invented these tricks you simple bastard!!

Carl Buford: [to Morgan] I never hurt you. You could have said no.

Morgan: I KNEW I should've told somebody about you when I was a kid! God, I was so afraid of you. I was afraid of the cops, what people would say. I was afraid of losing everything I was gaining.

Morgan: One kid steps up and breaks the dam, just one, and then another one, and another one, because they're not afraid of you anymore.

Morgan: I'm the KIND that has to spend the rest of this life making sure guys like YOU go down!

Morgan: The only body I'd seen before that was my father, and I was 10.

Morgan: I felt responsible for him, I mean I was the one who found him, right?

Morgan: And you feel like you have to do everything you can for him because hes the closest thing you have to a father.

Morgan: [looking outside the oneway mirror] I can wait as long as you guys can!

2x13 No Way Out [2.13]

Gideon: Aristotle said, "Evil brings men together."

Hotchner: [introducing the team to the sheriff] Aaron Hotchner. This is Derek Morgan and the guy who sometimes forgets his manners is Jason Gideon.

Garcia: What are you doing?
JJ: I'm mapping out where all the victims were found, starting with Gideon's first case file. [JJ jabs a pushpin to the map]
Garcia: Ow! Stabby!

Frank: [to Derek] If I had your looks, do you know how much easier my life would be?

Frank: Jason... from Greek mythology... to heal. Gideon... a hero from the Old Testament who led the Israelites against the Midianites. Your parents had great ambitions for you. I'm Frank… Germanic… third century. Derived from the name of a type of spear. I wonder what aspirations my parents had for me.

Mark Davis: But that man... he also killed the school bus driver.
Sheriff Georgia Davis: How? We had the whole town shut down. There was no way out.

Frank: But you know what's an even more interesting question? What the psychopath's got in the bag, Jason?

Frank: [to Morgan] Beauty can cover a multitude of sins, but underneath we all look exactly the same.

Frank: Do you think me insane?
Gideon: Do not play me. You know exactly what you are. A psychopathic sexual sadist. You get off on the brutal torture of others.
Morgan: And you knew the moment we arrived in this town, you had no way out.

Prentiss: All of these killings… the work of just one man?
Gideon: Most prolific serial killer ever.

Frank: My hope is that one day you'll feel the way I do too.
Gideon: If I ever find myself feeling the way you do, I'll kill myself.
Frank: Call me first. I'd love to pick your brains.

Prentiss: These wind chimes are made of bone. I think it's human rib bones.

Sheriff Georgia Davis: [discussing Jane's story of captivity] What about the fact that she could see herself? Gideon: A mirrored ceiling.

Sheriff Georgia Davis: So his victims could see themselves being dismembered. … Every time I think it can't get any worse, it does.

Gideon: [to Frank] I thought I'd seen the very worst of what humanity had to offer, 'til you.

Reid: A psycho with a whistle. That's not too weird.

Garcia: [looking at photos of convicts with prison tattoos] Oh, this is SO not a way to a girl's heart!

Gideon: Did you kill the children, too?
Frank: You've been profiling me for a long time, Jason. You know that I don't kill kids. It does nothing for me.

2x14 The Big Game

Gideon: Condemned murderer Perry Smith said of his victims, the Clutter family "I didn't have anything against them and they never did anything wrong to me, the way other people have all my life. Maybe they're just the ones who have to pay for it."

Prentiss: [watching Morgan dance women] Hey, Morgan, be careful. The one in the back could steal your wallet!
Morgan: Well then I'll be a broke, happy man!

Reid: Referring to oneself in the third person is common for an unsub. Ted Bundy gave detailed accounts of the murders, but he never admitted doing them, he'd just say, "the killer."

Tobias: This is a warning, not a show. What's wrong with you people?

Morgan: The unsubs are right about one thing. The world is pretty screwed up.

Reid: You seem unhappy.
Gideon: I am unhappy. I'm tired of people using religion... to justify the terrible things they do.

Reid: You can't scream with your throat cut.

Tobias: I´m sorry. I don´t let anyone in the house.
Reid: Actually, I really have to, you know, go.
JJ: You do?
Reid: Yeah, for thirty minutes.
JJ: Why didn´t you say something in the car?

2x15 Revelations

Hotchner: There is not a righteous man on earth who does what is right and never sins. Ecclesiastes 7:20

Reid: If you tell me where we are, I can tell my friends, and they'll save us.
Tobias: We can't be saved.

JJ: I keep thinking the one thing we need to crack this case is, well, Reid.

Hotchner: Think of this house as a witness. If it could talk, what would it tell us?
Garcia: My guess is, it would tell us to get the hell out.

Tobias: They're gone.
Reid: Who are they?
Tobias: It's just me now.
Reid: Who, who are you?
Tobias: I'm Raphael.

Reid: You don't have to do this.
Tobias(Raphael): I'm just an instrument of God.

Morgan: [Regarding Hankle torturing Reid] I'm gonna put this guy's head on a stick.

Reid: The Lord spake unto Moses saying 'speak unto all of the congregation of The Children of the Lord and say unto them, you shall be holy for I the Lord your God am holy.'
Tobias(Charles): You know Leviticus?
Reid: | know every word of the Bible. I can recite i for yout.
Tobias(Charles): The Devil knows how to read too.
Reid: I'm not a Devil. I'm not a Devil, I'm a man, my name is Spencer Reid. I have a mother and I have a father just like you and they taught me the Bible. Let me, let me just recite the Bible.
Tobias(Charles): It's time to confess, Spencer Reid.

Hotchner: [desperately] We're not getting any closer.
Gideon: Reid's brilliant. He'll figure out a way to survive.
Hotchner: You know I always take advantage of Reid for his brain, but I never actually teach him how to deal with things emotionally.
Gideon: You lead by example.
Hotchner: What kind of example is that?
Gideon: [softly] He'll make it.

Tobias: [after Reid shot him] You killed him.
Reid: Tobias...
Tobias: I get to see my mom again.
Reid: I'm sorry.

Hotch: Reid, you alright?
Reid: [hugging Hotch] I knew you'd understand.

JJ: I am so sorry.
Reid: It's alright, it wasn't your fault.

2x16 Fear and Loathing

Gideon: "From the deepest desires often come the deadliest hate." Socrates

Morgan: [to Reid] You all right? [Reid doesn’t move.]
Morgan: Reid.
Reid: Hmm?
Morgan: I said, are you all right?
Reid: I'm fine. [glances behind him] Thanks for broadcasting.

Reid: Its the crime scene photos.
Morgan: Crime scene photos?
Reid: The dead girls in the leaves.
Morgan: Reid, we've seen worse.
Reid: I know, I know we've seen worse but for the first time I know, I look at them and, I look at them and I know what they were thinking what they were feeling like right before...

Reid: “The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living." Cicero

2x17 Distress

Gideon: "Our life is made by the death of others." Leonardo da Vinci

Garcia: Are you lonely in the Lone Star state? And are you wearing chaps?
Morgan: Only in your dreams, Garcia
Garcia: Oh, not necessarily. I have Photoshop.
Morgan: Garcia, I had better never find any Photoshopped pictures of me on your computer.
Garcia: Oh trust me my vision, you will never FIND them.

JJ: How do we find a man who's trapped inside his head?

Hotchner: "If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace." Thomas Paine

Hotchner: He's reliving the worst moment of his life, he's got to be terrified.
Reid: Yeah.

Hotchner: [construction work in the background] What's that?
JJ: [with mouth full] One of the detectives' wives made us cookies.
Emily: Wow, homemade cookies!?
JJ: Yeah I guess that's what they mean by 'southern hospitality'.
Reid: What are you saying?
Emily: 'Southern Hospitality'.
Reid: [runs over to window and shuts it] How can anyone hear with all this work going on?

2x18 Jones

Gideon: Robert Kennedy once said "Tragedy is a tool for the living to gain wisdom, not a guide by which to live."

Garcia: What was the thing that Jack the Ripper took from one of his victims, besides, well, you know, her life?
Emily: Oh, uh...
Garcia: Mmm. Tick, tock, tick, tock.
Emily: I don't know.
Garcia: A kidney. How horrifyingly fantastic is that?
Emily: Mmhmm, and are you going anywhere with this?
Garcia: Just that I found an unsolved murder that happened four months ago in Galveston, Texas, with the same MO - the victim missing that very organ. I amaze myself.
Emily: Yeah, me too. Great work.

Ethan: My music makes me happy. It doesn't take a profiler to see that you're not.
Reid: It's not easy. And it's not - I ... don't think you'd believe some of the things that I've seen.
Ethan: John Coltrane. He was a genius too. Died of cancer. But most people think it was the booze and the heroin that did him in.
Reid: What are you trying to say?
Ethan: You look like hell.
Reid: I'm fine...
Ethan: Come on man, I'm a jazz musician in New Orleans, I know what it looks like when someone's not well. It's maybe the one time I can tell you something you don't already know. [points at Reid's drink] It may make you forget, but it won't make it go away. And if I can tell... You're surrounded by some of the best minds in the world. If you think they don't notice, well... For a genius, that's just dumb.

JJ: You're the best ever.
Garcia: Awww... And you're the most perceptive!

Reid: I missed that plane on purpose.
Gideon: I know.
Reid: I'm struggling.
Gideon: Well... anybody who's been through what you've been through recently... would.
Reid: This is all I was groomed for. I never even ... I never even considered another option.
Gideon: Now you're questioning whether or not you're strong enough to be here?
Reid: Yeah.
Gideon: I have been playing at this job in one way or another for almost 30 years. I've felt lost. I've felt great. I have felt scared, sick, and insane. I don't know, I guess the day this job stops gnawing at your soul... and your hands, your hands stop feeling cold, maybe that's the time to leave.
Reid: I guess I just needed to figure out if I could step away from this job.
Gideon: And?
Reid: I'll never miss another plane again.

2x19 Ashes to Dust

Hotchner: "The torture of a bad conscience is the hell of a living soul," John Calvin.

Garcia: Brace yourselves. I'm going to teach you the meaning of L.U.S.T.
Gideon: Did she say lust?
Garcia: I cross-referenced every known fact on the victims and I just found a website that links both Dennis Cutler and Mathew Jarvis' companies on a list of businesses guilty of L.U.S.T.
Hotchner: I'm missing something.
Garcia: Leaking Underground Storage Tanks.

Gideon: When he arrives, bring the fake bodies right past us nice and slow. I want him to get a good look.
Lt. Vega: Remind me never to play poker with you guys.

(JJ introduces Reid to Det. Castro as he clumsily drops everything he’s carrying.)
Det. Castro: A genius you said?
JJ: Yeah, uh, his co-ordination drops off when he’s thinking.

Prentiss: All those people, no booze or music. That's either a very lame going away party, or an EDF meeting.

Hotchner: Gandhi said "Live as if you were to die tomorrow, learn as if you were to live forever."

2x 20 Honor Among Thieves

Prentiss: An old Russian proverb reminds us, "There can be no good without evil."

Reid: These tattoos are like books on their skin. It tells their whole life story.

Natalya: I am just like my mother. When she is upset, she cooks.

Arseny Lysowsky: [to Gideon and Reid] Would you like something to eat? This borscht is exquisite, it is my mother’s old country recipe.
Reid: Didn’t you forsake all your relatives when you swore the Thieves' Code?
Arseny Lysowsky: I didn’t forsake her recipes.

Ambassador Elizabeth Prentiss: How are you enjoying your assignment to the BAU?
Prentiss: Well, enjoying is an odd description.
Ambassador Elizabeth Prentiss: Is it?
Prentiss: We deal with some pretty horrible things.
Ambassador Elizabeth Prentiss: I thought that was where you wanted to be.
Prentiss: It is.
Ambassador Elizabeth Prentiss: Then you do enjoy it.

Anton Gorban: I mind my own business.
Gideon: You've been watching us since we got here.

Garcia: [answering phone] Your friendly neighborhood Oracle of all things knowable and unknowable at your service.

Garcia: [regarding Lysowsky] He served 23 years in four remote prisons at Perm, that is a remote region of the Northern Ural Mountains, for those of you playing the home game.

Morgan: How could I have not seen this?
Reid: How could any of us, man?

Reid: They didn't wait?
Gideon: They cut off his ear. They increased the ransom and left a note.
Reid: How much money do they think they have?

SSA Josh Kramer: [to Gideon regarding the lack of statement from the victims] Cause we're dealing with criminals. Reid: Obviously.
SSA Josh Kramer: Not just the kidnappers, genius.

Prentiss: "Happy families are all alike. Every unhappy family is unhappy in it's own way," Leo Tolstoy.

2x21 Open Season

Prentiss: [in a bar, acting very excited] Ladies, this is Brad – a real FBI agent!
JJ: Really? No way!
Garcia: That's exciting! What's it like at Quan-ti-co?
JJ: Must be tough keeping all those secrets.
Brad: It’s a skill, like anything else. Carpenters are good at building stuff, measuring. The FBI’s good at keeping secrets and kicking criminal ass.
Prentiss: Can we see it?
Brad: See what?
Prentiss: Your badge.
Garcia: Please?
Brad: I'm sorry, that's classified.
Prentiss: [she holds up her badge] Tell me Brad, does it look anything like this?
JJ: [hold up hers] Or this?
Garcia: [holds up hers] Or maybe, this?
[Brad hurries away]

Gideon: "One man's wilderness is another man's theme park." Author unknown.

Prentiss: The British historian James Anthony Froude once said, "Wild animals never kill for sport. Man is the only one to whom the torture and death of his fellow creatures is amusing in itself."

2x22 Legacy

Morgan: [to Mona, a homeless woman] Be careful, you hear me? This world needs all of its beautiful ladies, and that means you, too, momma. [Mona smiles and walks away]
Emily: You’re a good guy.
Morgan: Ya think?
Emily: Yeah, you make the people around you feel good.

Hotchner: You have Chaplin on film?
Gideon: My great-granddad was an accountant at one of the first movie studios.
Hotchner: He was in California?
Gideon: No no no, Chicago. Essanay Studios closed, 1920. Back then four out of five movies made in the U.S. were made in Chicago. They closed down, they let my grandpa take, ehh, a couple of extra prints home.
Hotchner: [amused] They let him?
Gideon: [laughing] Well, that’s the family story... we’re sticking to it.

Reid: You see, the word "coincidence" implies more...
Morgan: Hey! Hey, kid. We do not need a vocabulary lesson right now.
Reid: Right. Sorry.

Morgan: What did you guys get?
Hotch: Well, Reid got propositions from every prostitute we talked to, but we didn't find anybody who thinks they've seen the unsub.

Hotchner: "Of all the preposterous assumptions of humanity, nothing exceeds the criticisms made of the habits of the poor by the well-housed, well-warmed, and well-fed." Herman Melville.

Gideon: "Nothing is permanent in this wicked world— not even our troubles," Charles Chaplin.

2x23 No Way Out (Pt. 2): The Evolution of Frank

Gideon: "I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their good intellect." Oscar Wilde.
JJ: [to Reid] No matter what happens this time, we don't split up, clear?
Reid: Crystal clear!

Erin Strauss: I believe you're no longer effective in your post.
Hotchner: Modern furniture...strategically placed magazines, the framed diplomas, the art in the wall...they're all in conflict with your family photos. You have three children but you favor the middle one, your son.
Erin Strauss: What do you think you're doing?
Hotchner: Of course, you love all your children but not like your son
Erin Strauss:That's enough!
Hotchner: The bonsai you obsessively nurture is to compensate for feelings of failure...
Erin Strauss:Agent Hotchner I said that's enough!! My position is not in question here. As your superior, I am questioning your ability to lead your team...
Hotchner: My team? Let me tell you about my team: Agent Morgan fought to protect his identity from the very people who could save him. Why? Because trust has to be earned, and there are very few people he truly trusts. Reid's intellect is a shield which protects him from his emotions, and at the moment his shield is under repair. Prentiss over-compensates because she doesn't yet feel she's a part of the team; she needn't worry. Everyday Agent Jareau fields dozens of requests for our team, and every night she goes home hoping she has made the right choices. Garcia fills her office with figurines and color, to remind herself to smile as the horror fills her screens... And Agent Gideon in many ways is damned by his profound knowledge of others, which is why he shares so little of himself, yet he pours his heart into every case we handle. I stand by my actions, and I stand by my team, and if you think that you can find a better person for the job, then good luck.

Hotch: Frank.
Frank: Agent Hotchner. We haven't had the pleasure of a formal meeting.

Doubt [3.1]
Gideon: Spree killings in a confined area are a race. He's racing to kill as many as he can; we're racing to stop him.

Gideon: How long can you hold that lawyer off?
Hotch: Are you kidding? I was a prosecutor; I can hold him off for days.

Prentiss: (about Nathan Tubbs) I'll sleep when he confesses.
JJ: We all will.

Morgan: I know how bad cops wanna believe they got the right guy. I've been on both sides of that.

Section Chief Strauss: You’re suspended for two weeks without pay pending an investigation of your conduct. And, Agent Hotchner, if it was solely up to me? You would never get these credentials back.
Hotch: Always a pleasure.

In Name and Blood / Birth and Death [3.2]
Morgan: What if we don’t want a new Unit Chief?
Hotchner: Well maybe the next one won’t be such a drill sergeant.
Morgan: Look, man, are you a pain in my ass? Yes, sir! But wantin' to hang out with you, and needin' you to lead this team are two very different things.

Section Chief Erin Strauss: None of you will ever move up the chain of command, you know that.
Hotchner: Why would I ever want to leave the BAU?

Morgan: Garcia, baby girl, please tell me something I want to hear.
Garcia: You are a statuesque god of sculpted chocolate thunder.
Morgan: How about something I don't already know?
Garcia: (after an intentional pause) I have a sweet tooth.

Garcia: [answering phone] Talk dirty to me.
Section Chief Erin Strauss: This is Section Chief Erin Strauss.
Garcia: [horrified and red-faced] Ma'am, I think it goes without saying that I was expecting it to be someone else.
Garcia: [answering phone later] FBI Technical Analyst Penelope Garcia speaking.

Haley Hotchner: Aaron, stop! Don’t make me the monster here. I feel sick about these women, but when this case is over there will be another one, and another one, and another one. It is never going to stop.
Hotchner: This is who I am.
Haley Hotchner: No. This is what you do.
Hotchner: I’m trying to do the right thing – here and there – and I would really appreciate a little support.
Haley Hotchner: Oh, that’s right, because you always need to be the hero.
Hotchner: Don’t give me that.
Haley Hotchner: No, obviously a happy life isn’t enough for you.

Gideon: I guess I’m just looking for it again – for the belief I had back in college, the belief I had when I first met Sarah and it all seemed so right. The belief in happy endings.

Scared to Death [3.3]
Reid: It hit me when Morgan freaked out when we were stuck in the elevator.
Prentiss: You got stuck in an elevator?
Morgan: I freaked?
Reid: That’s not important.

Dr. Stan Howard: (to Hotchner) I think your greatest fear is that you can't save everyone. It is worse than I thought.

Children of the Dark [3.4]
Prentiss: These guys are killing the Cleavers.
Reid: Strange.
Hotch: The pattern?
Reid: No, the Cleavers. Of all the names for a 1950s idyllic TV family. I mean it’s rife with violent implication. Kind of makes you wonder how the writers really felt about suburbia, huh?
Hotch: Focus, please!

Seven Seconds [3.5]
Morgan: [examining camera surveillance footage' Well, can't you get a better angle?
Garcia: Sugar, I'm not London here; I can only work with what they have. And, believe me when I tell you, the 1980s just called. They want their security system back.

Officer: Thing is, there's still a man out there who hasn't been caught.
Hotch: I know. And there always will be. But today we made a difference.

About Face [3.6]
Rossi: I'm just saying... sharing is a learned skill.

Garcia: [answering phone] Speak and be recognized by your empress, mortal.
Rossi: Is this the technical analyst girl?

Identity [3.7]
Emily: (teasing Reid about coloring in a map) You know I could have gotten you a coloring book at the airport.
Reid: I'm creating a topagraphical map weighing down and geocoding all key locations looking for algarithoms.
Emily: (nods, confused) Yeah, thats exactly what I thought you were doing.

Garcia: [reviewing Goehring's records] He also appears in a federal database for - get this - aggressive militia groups.
JJ: Aggressive militia groups. Is there any other type?
Garcia: Uh hmm. That's your federal government at work. We specialize in redundancy.

Trailer Park Manager: What the hell do you want? Can't you read?
Reid: I'm not a salesman. I'm with the FBI.
Trailer Park Manager: FBI? You're not serious! You look like a pipe cleaner with eyes. I could snap you like a twig.
Rossi: But then... [steps into frame and flashes credentials] ...he isn't alone.

Reid: A popular theory among leading astrophysicists estimate that the hyper-matter reactor would need about 10 to the 32nd joules of energy to destroy a planet the size of earth. Now, Lucas said it took 19 years to build the first Death Star, right, but if you look at the new essential chronology there’s a test bed prototype for a super laser that’s been… Where you going?
Morgan: Taking back the last five minutes of my life.

Lucky [3.8]
Morgan: My mother took us to church every Sunday until I moved out. This whole devil thing doesn't spook me at all.
Reid: Maybe that's because you never truly bought the God part either.
Morgan: No offense kid but you don't know what I believe.
Reid: Well, I mean, logic dictates that if you believe in the one you have to reconcile the existence of the other.
Hotchner: People's reactions to Satan is what gives it appeal to these offenders. It has power and it would be a mistake to underestimate it.

Emily: Hey, whats going on with you and Morgan?
Garcia: I told him about this guy I met at the coffee shop...
Emily: Oh, say no more.
[Emily hangs up the phone and walks over to Morgan who has been eavesdropping behind her]
Emily: When a woman tells a man about her feelings, she doesn't want him to fix her, she wants him to shutup and listen.

Penelope [3.9]
JJ: She's in surgery, there's no word.
Reid: This is crazy.

Emily: Where's Morgan?
JJ: He's not answering his cell.
Reid: I'll call him again.

JJ: [Morgan walks in] She's been in surgery a couple hours.
Morgan: I was in church; my phone was off.
Reid: There's nothing you could have been doing here.

Hotch: [considering if the killer shot Garcia just to steal her purse.] Why does he risk coming into an enclosed courtyard?
Rossi: World's boldest purse-snatching?

Morgan: [Referring to Garcia] I asked her to go out last night but she was pissed at me; she blew me off.
Reid: So you ended up at church?
Morgan: Yeah, what does it mean? On one hand if she had gone out with me she would have never got shot. On the other hand, what are the odds the first time I pray in 20 years she's on the table?

Garcia: [To Reid and Morgan] When I was in the ambulance I could hear the song "Heroes" playing in my head. I kept flashing in and out of consciousness and I remember thinking, "Wait. Is David Bowie really God?"

Garcia: Have fun getting out the wormhole.

Morgan: I'm not going anywhere.
Garcia: What?
Morgan: No, that couch right there is going to be my best friend until we catch this guy.
Garcia: Fine. But if you're thinking about taking advantage of me, let me call my doctor so he can come revive me.
Morgan: (chuckles) Hey, Silly Girl.
Garcia: Yeah?
Morgan: I love you, you know that?
Garcia: I love you, too.

True Night [3.10]
Garcia: Honey, I know you love me, but the prospect of you whirling around here trying to fix this is actually more frightening than getting shot.

Reid: You should have listened to me.
Morgan: It wouldn't have saved that much time, Reid. Let it go.
Reid: The interchange between the 405 and 101 freeways is consistently rated the worst interchange in the entire world.
Morgan: Why do you know that?
Reid: It's in the government report.
Morgan: So what?
Reid: So, you work for the government. You don't read the reports?
Morgan: On traffic patterns in a city twenty-five hundred miles away from where I live?
Reid: Twenty-two hundred and ninety-four miles.
Morgan: Don't make me smack you in front of all these people.
[Later on]
Morgan: [on the phone with Garcia] Just leave it alone until I get there. Hey, hey, hardhead. Don't make me spank you when I get back.
Reid: Don't listen to him Garcia, he's all talk! [Morgan smacks Reid's head] Ow! JJ, he just hit me!
JJ: [not looking up] Boys, behave or I will ground you both.

Reid: Sometimes for an artist, the only difference between insanity and genius is success.

Garcia: Do you know who Frank Miller is?
Morgan: Frank Miller... Sounds familiar. Un-sub?
Garcia: [laughs] No, graphic novelist. 300? Sin City?
Morgan: Oh, right, right, right. Cool movies.
Garcia: He said something once and it makes me think of you. "The noir hero is a knight in blood caked armor. He's dirty and he does his best to deny the fact that he's a hero the whole time."

Birthright [3.11]
Hotch: You ok?
JJ: You stop caring, you're jaded. If you care too much, it'll ruin you.
Hotch: Just know that you did everything you could. Sometimes we get it right with a little luck and most of the times we don't. That's the job. It's never perfect. It's still better to care.
JJ: You really believe that?
Hotch: I believe it's never perfect.

Damaged [3.14]
Garcia: There is really no acceptable excuse for violence, but for you I am making an exception. [opens the front door] Oh my God, Agent Rossi!

JJ: (looking at her files) (sarcastically) I'm not busy at all.
Garcia: So you don't want to hear about Agent Rossi showing up at my apartment after I had a post-coital shower with fellow FBI technical analyst Kevin Lynch?
JJ: (head snaps up) Sit.

Kevin: Agent Rossi we need to talk....about Penelope......man-to-man.
Rossi: Man-to-man?
Morgan: What about Penelope?
JJ: [in a sing-song voice] Garcia and Kevin sitting in a tree... [walks away]
Morgan: Get out of here... you serious? [walks away]
Prentiss: Just when I thought that nothing scandalous was ever going to happen around here.
Reid: What? What does that mean?
Prentiss: Didn't you hear JJ?
Reid: The song meant something? No. No, I missed it.
Prentiss: It... it... it... You know what? Never mind.

A Higher Power [3.15]
Prentiss: Is there any possibility that, while we've been talking, you've been multitasking?
Garcia: What? Find Redding's address?
Prentiss: I love you, Penelope Garcia.
Garcia: Get in line!

Elephant's Memory [3.16]
John: Here... Take this. It's my one-year medallion, took me six years to get it. For the past thirteen years I've never left home without it. Because I know if I forget that, I'll loose my gun, my credentials, my home... everything. Hold on to it.
Reid: I only have ten months.
John: I know.
Reid: It's your most priced possession.
John: It is.
Reid: You're just giving it to me?
John: No... In a couple a months, when you get your year, you can give it back to me.
Reid: I really don't understand.
John: You will.

Reid: Sorry I'm late.
Rossi: I hope she was worth it.
Morgan: I hope it was a 'she'.

Garcia: (drinking coffee) The kid's tech savvy, sir. But fret not. I am tech savvier. Is that a word? That sounds like a word. If it is a word, I'm it.
Prentiss: D.C. time, Garcia.
Garcia: 11:17 a.m.
Prentiss: D.C. Decaf.

Rod Norris: (speaking to a creaking tree) You wake me again tonight... there'll be a chainsaw for you.

In Heat [3.17]
Prentiss: He could be suffering from Cluster B.
Det. Tina Lopez: Cluster B?
Reid: Uh... a cluster of personality disorders. It's also called the erratic, dramatic, emotional cluster, an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that differentiates itself markedly from the expectations of the individual's culture. It manifests itself-
Morgan: [cutting in] This guy's a sick dude.

Garcia: [via phone to team] Prints belong to Deacon Rogers, Odessa, Texas. He's had a couple of minor arrests - one for marijuana possession, one for lewd behavior, which I'm guessing is code for "gay" in Texas

Tabula Rasa [3.19]
[about a photo]
Reid: It's remarkable. Something like this makes you question everything you thought you knew.
Garcia: Yeah. Like the monolith in 2001.
Reid: So there was actually a time when something like this was socially acceptable?
Garcia: Oh, you're young. The eighties left a lot of people confused. This is especially sad, though.
[The photo is revealed to be of Prentiss in high school, dressed in punk clothing]
Prentiss: (Grabs photo) Alright, very funny, guys. Very funny. What'd you do to it?
Garcia: Do?
Prentiss:You obviously altered it in photoshop or something. Come on, that hair?
Garcia: Uh, no Pussycat, that's...That's all you. Garfield High class of '89
Prentiss: You really didn't change anything?
Garcia: I hacked it; as is. You're seriously trying to tell me you don't remember rocking that look?
(Prentiss shakes her head as does Garcia. Camera turns to Reid)
Reid: Perhaps your lack of recognition stems fromdissociativeness suffered as a child. (Grins slightly and looks at Garcia)
Say a Suzy and the Banshees concert?
Prentiss: Weird, it's like some other life.

Det. Jarvis: You're a little young, aren't you? No offense.
Reid: None taken. In fact neuroprocessing speeds reach their maximum at around age 15, so when it comes to being affected by crime scenes and other graphic visual input we are all really the same age.

Garcia: If you look to your cursor, you'll notice that it's moving on its own. That's me hacking your secure network. Now I've got her file, now I've got her social, and because you're grumpy, I'm going to send your boss those Jamaican vacation photos. Oh, look at you. No tan lines.

Mr. Corbett: ... Poetry was something they shared. It's Wordsworth. "What though the radiance that was once so bright be now forever taken from thy sight, though nothing can bring back..."
Reid: "Though nothing can bring back the hour of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower; we will grieve not, but rather find strength in what remains behind."

Lo-Fi [3.20]
Prentiss: [speaking about Hotch and Joyner] They, um, liased when she was at Scotland Yard.
JJ: [Nodding] Of course.

The Angel Maker [4.02]
Doctor: The condition can sometimes become permanent
Hotch: But I can go back to work?
Doctor: Putting someone in the field with acute sensitivity to sound can be a mistake. Agent Hotchner, if you are not careful you can lose your hearing entirely.
Hotch: I understand.
Doctor: Good
Hotch: But … you’ll sign my return to duty? [Doctor gives Hotch an unbelievable look] W-what if I said I’ll limit my roll in the field. [Hotch’s phone rings. Hotch continues to look at the Doctor, the Doctor looks up]
Doctor: Your phone is ringing

Reid: That’s one theory
JJ: There’s another?
Reid: Think about who shares the exact DNA makeup of another person
Morgan: Reid you’re not seriously floating around the idea of an evil twin, are you?
Reid: No I’m not. I’m floating the idea of an eviler twin. Traditionally the concept is uh, good twin and evil twin but in this [Morgan shares a look with Prentiss] case its evil twin and eviler twin. [Prentiss & Morgan looks at Reid like he’s crazy & Reid thinks of what he said wrong]

Garcia: Did you know that John Wayne Gacy painted clowns. A murdering ********* paints clowns and people hang them on their walls. It’s creepy on so many levels I mean clowns.
Morgan: I didn’t know you had that hung up.
Prentiss: Coulrophobia- abnormal fear of clowns.
Garcia: Oh no there is nothing abnormal about it. When I was 12 a hobo clown grabbed my breast at a birthday party and made this old tiny honky noise when he did it. Apparently making it funny makes it okay.

Garcia: [Talking about what the Angel Maker sells] Yea, he also made this little origami figurines out of cigarette boxes which I hate to say are really cute.

Prentiss: [Talking about a dead security guard] A little heavy on the old spicy
Morgan: Strikes me as an Aqua Velva guy.
Prentiss: [Picks up bottle] Man, you’re good.

Hotchner: In exchange of his silence he wanted sex
Police Officer: Because she shot him in the junk, right?
Reid: Uh, that and the fact he took a PD5 inhibitor shortly before his murder.
Officer Chief: A what?
Morgan: Viagra

Rossi: [talking about cracking a code] What do you need to crack it?
Reid: The ability to clone myself and a year supply of Adderall.
Rossi: I’ll start the coffee

Reid: They weren’t just close, they were in love.
Rossi: How’d you crack it?
Reid: I profiled the author. Courtland Ryan was on death row with severally high ranking members of the Aryans brotherhood.
JJ: You got the code from the Aryans?
Reid: Either that or you read a lot of 16th century literature. The Aryans like to use a cipher based on a 400 year old code written by Sir Francis Bacon.
Morgan: So it’s a binary code.
Reid: Yea, Bacon used a 21 letter alphabet this one is 24. Each letter is assigned a bit-string of five binary digits. This combination yields 32 possibly encodings. Normally you would use a computer to run all these, but it was much quicker to do it long hand until I found the right one. [Prentiss pokes Reid on the cheek]
Prentiss: He’s so life-like.

Garcia :[Talking about Birth Records of the Angel Makers son] We’ll do single mothers only in case she wanted to keep the father a secret. You know, didn’t want to brag. ‘Oh, your baby daddy’s a third grade teacher? Well mine likes to poke people in the stomach with tools so there.’

JJ: Anyone get directions back to the airstrip?
Morgan: This town’s only got one road, we’ll find it.
Prentiss: Yea, Morgan doesn’t like to follow directions. You didn’t know about that?
Reid: Yea, he likes to vibe it.
Morgan: Okay smartass you drive.
Prentiss: Oh… great.
Reid: Sweet.

Minimal Loss [4.03]
Benjamin Cyrus: Savages they call us, because our manners differs from theirs
Nancy Lunde: We didn't come here to hear you cite scripture, Mr. Cyrus.
Reid: Actually it's Benjamin Franklin.

General Of Colorado: You are obviously not in charge, I can see that.
Officer: I'm sorry, sir. I'm under direct orders from the FBI
General: I'm the Attorney General of this State, I demand to know why I wasn't told that the FBI were sending two undercover agents in the sectarian ranch.
Hotch: The only thing you are in a position to demand is a lawyer.
General: Who the hell are you?
Hotch: I'm Aaron Hotchner, Unit Chief. I'm the guy that's going to tell the Attorney General of the United States to charge you with abstraction of a federal investigation or negligent homicide.
General: You can't talk to me like that.
Hotch: Get off my crime scene.

Paradise [4.04]
Reid: Hey, if you guys are hungry I know a pretty good Indian restaurant that's open all night.
Prentiss: Oh no, I can't. I have a date.
Morgan: You got a date? With who?
Prentiss: My hot tub
Morgan: Oh no, that sounds like a party.
Prentiss: You are so not invited
[Morgan makes an 'ouch' face and slaps himself lightly]
JJ: Hold up you guys.
Reid:... change of plans.

Prentiss: JJ? [Asking about the headphones resting on her womb]
JJ: So the baby can hear.
Prentiss: What's he listening to?
JJ: Beethoven
Reid: I personally preferred Mozart myself, but be careful to limit his exposure to on hour a day, amniotic fluids tend to amplify sounds.
JJ: Thanks for the reminder, Doc.

Garcia: I thought you forgot me. It hurt.

Hotch: Garcia, could you send me a list of-
Garcia: - addresses and phone numbers on its way. Kind of sorry, anything else I could do for you?
Hotch: Not for now.
Reid: Thank you Garcia
Garcia: You, my fine furry friends, are welcome. [Hangs-up]
Hotch: Remind me to have her drug tested

Prentiss: Well, road side hotels defiantly go on my list... of things to never do again.
Reid: You have a list?
Rossi: You don't?

Catching Out [4.05]
Reid: So wait she knew your name?
Morgan: I don’t know how I could forget a face like hers.
Reid: You’ve been with so many girls you can’t remember all their names ?
Prentiss: Oh, come on, are you surprised?
Morgan: This has never happened to me.
Reid: Hasn’t happened to me before either.
Prentiss: It can’t happen to you, you have an eidetic memory.
Morgan: Anyways, you only got one name to remember
Reid: Ahahah [fake laughs]

JJ: He even sleeps in their beds.
Prentiss: It’s like Goldylocks became a serial killer

Hotch: [Enters the conference room and looks at ‘Highway 99 Killer’] Who named him this?
Chief Inspector: I did
JJ: I’m going to go get started on that memo
Reid: I’m going to help you.
[Later]
Reid: How’d he take it?
Hotch: He’ll get over it

52 Pickup [4.09]
Rossi: How does our unsub become loser of the year to Don Juan.
Reid: Actually, as Byron interpreted, Don Jaun was an ironic reversal of sex roles.. and, when.. ... yea that's about it. (Shuts up seeing as he is offtopic)

Hotch: Not only do you represent the FBI you represent this team, the press, the police, and the families who are struggling through the hardest times of their lives. If you get caught on a lie, the trust we depend on, to help slove these crimes, disappears. Do I make myself clear?
Todd: It won't happen again.
Hotch: No it won't
(later)
Todd: So how bad did I just screw up?
Morgan: On a normal scale of 1 to 10, I say a 6. But on Hotch's scale, an 11.

(After meeting Viper for the first time)
Garcia: H...he actually said that? To Prentiss?
Hotch: Yes he did. So what can you tell me about him?
Garcia: I can tell you the Vipers real name is Paul Thomas. And before he rechristen himself, he had a major mullet going on.
(later)
Garcia: Sir, does this stuff actually work on real breathing girls
Hotch: Why are you asking me?
Garcia: I apour the whole chick dig jerk thing.
Hotch: Well, fortunately for you Garcia, you are one of the exceptions.
Garcia: (Flattered) Well, you speckled my heart, so are you sir.
Hotch: (Smiles) Thanks.

Reid: One classic routine the Viper promotes is called the push-pull. He'll insert himself between two women and immediately after complimenting one he'll deliver a sudden insult then pay attention to the other. (Talks to Todd) Those are really nice earrings, I like those.
Tood: Thanks.
Reid: My grandmother also wears a lot of fake jewelry. Ignoring the one women puts her in direct competition between the other to presue more aggressively. Sorry, I was just demonstrating, sorry.

Reid: I think I'll just stay home and mend the tip line. Clubs aren't really my thing.
Morgan: Not a chance, Kid. I need a wing man.
Rossi: Actually there is an other angle we need to pursue.
Hotch: We still don't know what made the victim change his victimnology. What made him stop killing prostitutes and moved into the clubs.
Rossi: The answer might be something in vipers class. But to figure that out we need to profile the teacher
Morgan: You need to bait him to someone he sees as a challenge.
Reid: You need to study his style up close and personal to take someone he is already attracted to. (Reid smiles and everyone looks at Prentiss)
Prentiss: Urg.... Ohh... this is really going to suck (Looks at everyone with a betrayal look).

Prentiss: To be honest I've dated guys worse than Viper.
Hotch: Wow.

Reid: (Talking to girls in a club) When you think about the nature of serial crimes it's amazing that there aren't more sexual predators in the club- excessive amounts of alcohol, countless opportunities for date rape drugs. Not to mention surprisingly risky behaviour. Alright, now who wants a flyer? (All girls walk away) Nobody okay alright.
Morgan: So how's it going?
Reid: Not good. I gave the profile to one women and she asked if I was the unsub. How are you doing?
Morgan: Well I gave all my flyers away.
Reid: How many phone numbers did you get?
Morgan: None. I'm working a case here, kid. (Reid raises his eyebrows jokingly) Okay, four were offered but I didn't take any of them. Alright, let me school you a little bit. What you have to do with this ladies is, just take control of the conversation. When you are talking with a women wake makes you feel like an expert.
Reid: Statistics.
Morgan: No, trust me no, something else.
Reid: Well when I do magic.
Morgan: See, see that's perfect. Chicks dig magic. I'm going to give you a chance to work it.
(later)
Austin: So what do I do if I see him?
Reid: You should call us. Even if you think you see him you should call us.
Austin: And if I don't see him? Can I call you?
Reid: (tiny voice) Yea, you can call me.

Prentiss: Jordan, this is Viper- God's gift to women.
Todd: Well God sure has a sense of humour.

Brothers in Arms [4.10]
Todd: Almost 30% of officers slang are gang related.
Reid: Technically it's closer to 40%

Cold Comfort [4.14]
Garcia: [reading the horoscopes out of the newspaper to Kevin] '... confidence, real or pretend is your magic ingredient.'
Kevin: Confidence! Yes, I like that.
Morgan: Come on guys you don't actually think that there's anything to this stuff, do you?
Kevin: You'd be surprised.
Prentiss: It's jibberish.
Morgan: Thank you.
Garcia: Oh you are just jealous because you don't have the magic ingredient.
Prentiss: I have the magic ingredient. It's called splenda.
Kevin: Alright skeptic, what's your sign.
Morgan: Uh oh.
Prentiss: No.
Garcia: No? Is that in April. Reid, we need a DOB on Prentiss.
Reid: 7:12am on October 12, 19-
Prentiss: Hey!!
Garcia: Hmm... Libra, I should've known. 'A romantic opportunity may experience a slight hitch thanks to the pesky lunar influence which could have you dipping into a rather chilly mood. If begin demonstrative and warm is difficult then neutralize this temporary cold front with a simple but affectionate gesture.
Prentiss: I have a simple gesture. [Flips off]

Pleasure is my Business [4.16]
Reid: Female serial killers are a fancinating field. We don't have much information on them but what we do know involves throwing the rules right out the window. Signature for instance - they don't torture or take trophies.
Morgan: Because there is no sexaul gratification when a women kills.
Reid: Exactly, murder is their goal, they don't have to do anything extra.
JJ: So basically women are more efficient at killing.
Reid: Historically they've had body counts in the hundreds

Ellen Daniels: But I have something better for you assuming you might be willing to look over certain legal niceties. Do you want to buy a house?
Hotch: No.
Ellen Daniels: Yes, you do.

Prentiss: Uh, I don't get it, I thought Hotch said we're going to meet a madame here.
Reid: Actually, there is a lot of overlap between realistate and sex work. Properity is a safe and inspection free investiment for large sums of cash. Your brownstone used to be owned by a gigolo.
Prentiss: Wha-
Madame: Why, hello you two.
Reid: Ahh, are you-
Madame: Isn't this neighbourhood just fabulous. And you are going to love this house. You two need lessons on faking it. I teach a class.

Morgan: (Takes leather dress) Hey Prentiss (Puts leather dress against Emily), got a whip?

Reid: (Awkward) What about... the, um, type of work your employees do? Uh, we are opperating around the assumption this, uh, escort is, uh, killing men who... make her perform ... a spe-specific sexaul act.
Madame: What do you have in mind, sweety?
Reid: I... I don't even know.

Reid:[Talking about the victims fincial records 16 cars, 6 houses and 3 boats. Can you even boat in dallas... ?
Prentiss: But when you are talking about that much money, 10 grande for a call girl is like deciding to go for dinner.
Hotch: Are you there, Garcia?
Garcia: Affrimative.
JJ: I have half a million over here for something called the batcave. And here's a picture of him as fetish batman. ...That is wrong

Megan: Don't compare youself to the men I see. You are nothing like them. You're just another *****.
Hotch: How am I a *****?
Megan: You come when called, you do their bidding.

Morgan: (Talking about Megan finding out about her dad having a call girl) How'd she find out?
Katherine: Andrew (Megan's father) left his wife because of me. Of course, (Offended, Jelous, Diasspointed look) he married someone else.

Gacia: Guys, I might have something. Andrew Kane just reserved a room at the Wilmore Hotel, room 2257 to be exact. Could I have an ick-ick-icky on making an appointment with your own daughter.

Demonology [4.17]
Prentiss: Hotch still in here?
Garcia: Oh, I'm pretty sure he lives here.

Conflicted [4.20]
Hotch: We'll make people aware without causing panic.
JJ: Stress hypervigliance, the whole buddy system- yea, I'm all over it- I just don't think anyone is going to listen
Reid: What do you mean?
JJ: Come on, drunk college students don't exactly want to hear they shouldn't talk to strangers
Reid: Right.
Prentiss: Was there any DNA left on the scene?
Garcia: Uh, yea, too much DNA. This portion of the Garcia brought you by "I" for Icky. The lab has recovered over 100 different trace samples. As multiple guests creating a cesspool of DNA, so there is no way to determine the exact time of "secretion" or to eliminate anyone actually working at the hotel.

Morgan: Adam Jackson? Your manager said we can find you up here. [shows FBI Badge]
Adam: I.. uh... I get migraines [Has rolled weed in his hand]

Garcia: [Watching a clip] Victim number 1, I would like to call him Jerkface, seemingly making advances at danzel in distress aka hotel employee Madison Cook. See Jerkface grab danzel, see Adam Jackson, let's call him White Knight, intervene. See Jerkface knock White Knight down, see White Knight pause, see White Knight go postal.

Garcia: Adam Jackson life reads like a "How to make an Unsub Manuel"

Reid: Adam, let's talk about the fight with the fist victim, William Browder.
Adam: There's nothing to tell, he grabbed Madison, I tried to stop him.
Reid: That guy was pretty big...
Adam: So?
Reid: Adam, guys like you and I, we aren't exactly the fighting type.

Reid: Does she[Julie] pay for the drugs also?
Adam: I... I.. told you, I get migraines.
Reid: So, take a prescription.
Adam: I thought you were different.

Criminal Minds Birthday Calendar

criminalmindsfreak — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 00:24:15 CST

Please add your birthdays to the calendar!

Please stick to the established formatting colors.
Please use your username, not your given one.

January 2nd - SSA_Babycakes 2nd - sweetmacsween 3rd - KatieKatie3 7th - O'nash Tigerroses 11th - DirtyMindedHo 12th - Beauty33 16th - reid_lover_96 18th - PhysicsMagic 19th - jackie196602 19th - Translucentrose 28th - music_chica94 29th - momo0231 30th - HonourSociety	February 3rd - kimfreire 7th - anndz 13th - Kaz636 14th - usa-girl.1402 20th - Ilovespencerreid 21st - x-amber-x 28th- Oujo_Reid23	March 4th - Extreme-Aggressor 6th- ReidDomination 7th-I-heart-Dr-Ried 9th - Matthew Gray Gubler (Spencer Reid) 9th - Melmarie 10th - Paget Brewster (Emily Prentiss) 12th - Nickay 17th-ReidAddict47 21st - imayfakeit 23rd - sojourner19 24th - sassyraven19 27th - wensmcg 28th - reid_rox_my_sox 30th - deoxysomega
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October 2nd - Oakiedokie 6th - wickedbrit106 6th - Reidsgotgame 9th - xMissAmericax 11th - MedievalContessa 12 - Innerslytherin 16th - aoife...xx 17th - RRMMS 18th - wolfeaddict 19th - 071956 21st - hotchgirl 22nd - Bottes 23rd - horatio_girl 24th - criminalmindsfan1 25th - #1ReidFan 26th - Reid_fangirl_4eva	November 2nd - celinehooi 2ND- Melain 5th - theatregirl91 13th - Joe Mantegna (David Rossi) 17th - MrsDrSpencerReid 24th - Lola Glaudini (Elle Greenaway) 27th - danny'sgirl27 28th-MorganNGarciaPlease 30th - Mandy Patinkin (Jason Gideon) 30th - Keljay.	December 1st - bluebird123 6th - TiffanyQ 11th - #1hotchfan 11th - ReidFanGirl 12th - clangley 12th eryany 12th - xxkmsmilesxx 16th- morganschica17 18th - abbeysapprentice 18th- vampireswilnevrhurtu 21st - francycmmgg 25th - DantanaFan15

Criminal Minds TV Schedule

batgurl88 — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 00:29:12 CST

◄ Back to Criminal Minds | Read Criminal Minds Episode Recaps ►

Criminal Minds on television...

When is Criminal Minds on? Check back here for dates and times of upcoming episodes on CBS!

Criminal Minds Rebroadcasts

Criminal Minds on A&E TV

Criminal Minds on ION Television

CRIMINAL MINDS TV LISTINGS
CHANNEL	DATE \| TIME	EPISODE
CBS	Sat, Dec 26 9:00 PM	4.24 Amplification Original Air Date: May 13, 2009 Synopsis: When a new type of chemical warfare is released into the open air, the BAU must act quickly to find the source before any more innocent people are exposed. More ►
CBS	Wed, Dec 30 9:00 PM	4.24 Amplification Original Air Date: May 13, 2009 Synopsis: When a new type of chemical warfare is released into the open air, the BAU must act quickly to find the source before any more innocent people are exposed. More ►
CBS	Sat, Jan 2 9:00 PM	4.21 A Shade of Gray Original Air Date: April 22, 2009 Synopsis: When profiling a series of child abductions and murders, the team discovers that one of the cases may not be the handiwork of the serial killer they apprehended. More ►
CBS	Sun, Jan 10 10:00 PM	5.01 Nameless, Faceless Original Air Date: September 23, 2009 Synopsis: Hotch's unexplained absence quickly becomes apparent when the team is called back together to profile a killer who is targeting an emergency room doctor. More ►
CBS	Wed, Jan 13 9:00 PM	5.12 The Uncanny Valley Original Air Date: January 13, 2010 Synopsis: An unusual personal obsession is at the center of a BAU abduction case. Meanwhile, Hotch struggles with his return to work. More ►
CBS	Wed, Jan 20 9:00 PM	5.13 Risky Business Original Air Date: January 20, 2010 Synopsis: The team profiles a rash of startling teen suicides in a small Wyoming town than may be linked by the internet. More ►
CBS	Sat, Jan 23 9:00 PM	5.02 Haunted Original Air Date: September 30, 2009 Synopsis: When a disturbed man kills several people at a pharmacy, the BAU must figure out what triggered his actions before he hurts anyone else. More ►
CBS	Wed, Jan 27 9:00 PM	5.03 Reckoner Original Air Date: October 7, 2009 Synopsis: The BAU investigates a case in Rossi's hometown that involves both his personal and professional life. More ►

Read Full Criminal Minds Recaps ►

Screen captures game

Wolfeaddict — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 07:43:50 CST

The Rules:
Check the grid for the most current picture and guess from what episode it is by posting your answer in the thread.
If your guess is right, you post the next picture.

It's from Jones. ReidFanGirl got it right.		From Ashes and Dust. Special_Agent_Marta got it!
From Machismo. Right answer by Wolfeaddict		From No Way Out. Right answer by batgurl88
From Damaged. Special_Agent_Marta got it right!		From Lucky. Right answer by Wolfeaddict
From Scared to Death. Right answer by batgurl88		From The Boogeyman. Right answer by Wolfeaddict
From Damaged. Right answer by Special_Agent_Marta		From No Way Out 2: The Evilution of Frank. Right answer by cat_portugal
From True Night. Right answer by Special_Agent_Marta.		From Last Word. Right answer by cat_portugal.
From The Fox. Right answer by Wensmcg.		From Seven Seconds. Right answer by Wolfeaddict.
From Popular kids. Right answer by wensmcg.		From In Birth and Death. Right answer by Wolfeaddict.
From Identity. Right answer by DexterMorganFan		From North Mammon. Right answer by wensmcg.
From Memoriam. Right answer by Cat_portugal.		From Tabula Rasa. Right answer by Wolfeaddict
From Limelight. Right answer by Cat_portugal		From 3rd life. Right answer by Wolfeaddict
From The Tribe. Right answer by Special_Agent_Marta		From Blood hungry. Right answer by Wolfeaddict
From Lessons Learned. Right answer by mich_		From Lucky. Right answer by Wolfeaddict
From Machismo. Right answer by pariswriter		From The Last Word. Right answer by Wolfeaddict
From Derailed. Right answer by Vinzentia		From Natural born killer. Right answer by Wolfeaddict
From Secret and lies. Right answer by pariswriter		From Compulsion. Right answer by cat_portugal
From The Boogeyman. Right answer by ramlak9		From Scared to Death. Right answer by pariswriter
From Distress. Right answer by Wolfeaddict		From Legacy. Right answer by pariswriter
From The Aftermath. Right answer by ramlak9		From Lo-Fi. Right answer by pariswriter
From Unfinished Business. Right answer by Wolfeaddict		From Jones. Right answer by pariswriter
From In Birth and Death. Right answer by cat_portugal		From No Way Out, Part II: The Evilution of Frank. Right answer by mich_
From Tabula Rasa. Right answer by Wolfeaddict		From Limelight. Right answer by Special Agent Marta
From Fear and Loathing. Right answer by TranslucentRose		From Psychodrama. Right answer by cat_portugal
From Revelations. Right answer by Wolfeaddict		From Birthright. Right answer by Special_Agent_Marta
From P911. Right answer by TranslucentRose		From Poison. Right answer by Special_Agent_Marta
From Somebody's watching. Right answer by Wensmcg		From Distress. Right answer by Special_Agent_Marta
From Penelope. Right answer by Wolfeaddict		From Psychodrama. Right answer by Special_Agent_Marta
From Doubt. Right answer by Wolfeaddict		From Profiler, profiled. Right answer by Inesi
From A Real Rain. Right answer by Wolfeaddict		From The Crossing. Right answer by Special_Agent_Marta
From Open Season. Right answer by PhysicsMagic		From L.D.S.K. Right answer by Wolfeaddict
From Unfinished Business. Right answer by Special_Agent_Marta		From Seven Seconds. Right answer by Wolfeaddict
From Distress. Right answer by PhysicsMagic		From The Angel Maker. Right answer by Wolfeaddict
From Elephant's Memory. Right answer by PhysicsMagic		From Masterpiece. Right answer by RRMMS
From Demonology. Right answer by Merlyn84		From Charm and Harm. Right answer by Special_Agent_Marta
From Ashes and Dust. Right answer by Wolfeaddict		From Poison. Right answer by PhysicsMagic
From Lo-fi. Right answer by Wolfeaddict		From Natural Born Killer. Right answer by Special_Agent_Marta
From What fresh hell? Right answer by Wolfeaddict		From The Fisher King part 2. Right answer by PhysicsMagic
From 'The Performer'.		From Psychodrama. Right answer by Special_Agent_Marta
From Mayhem. Right answer by Wolfeaddict

Criminal Minds Flunks

SRnEL4eva — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 22:27:35 CST

Do you ever watch a television show and realize that they messed up somewhere and didn't cut it out?
Do you ever notice this while watching Criminal Minds?
I know I do, and this is where we can share :)

North Mammon 2.7 - When Gideon goes into the Bunker, the girl that died is laying on the floor behind him when he is confronting the UnSub, who is sitting infront of him. In the first shot, the girls legs are laying slightly spread apart. The camera switches from Gideon to the UnSub and back to Gideon again. The girl is still laying behind him, but in this shot her left foot is laying on top of her right foot - crossed, kinda.

Sex, Birth, Death 2.11 - When Reid is talking to Nathan, Garcia leaves them alone. In the first shot, behind Reid, you see her go into the elevator and it closes. It then changes head shots from Reid to Nathan and back to Reid again. In the second shot of Reid, you see her go into the elevator again.

Revelations 2.15 - When Hotch and Gideon are discussing whether Reid will make it, Gideon says "He'll make it" and Hotch walks away. Then Gideon turns, and just before the screen cuts, you see Hotch walk back across the screen, going the opposite way he just went.

Jones 2.18 - When Reid is talking to Ethan at the bar, he's sitting with his legs crossed. The shot switches to Ethan, and when it cuts back to Reid, his legs are crossed the other way. (This is especially obvious because Matthew Gray Gubler always wears mismatched socks.)

Jones 2.18 - When Reid and his friend are at the bar, Reid's phone rings, when he opens it, it's shown as "silence mode".

Penelope 3.09 - When James Colby Baler (aka Jason Clark Battle) is buying the revolver he used to shoot Garcia, there is a box of bullets on the counter. There is no way the owner of a gun shop would allow a buyer access to ammunition as he's buying it; he could go all Van Damme and shoot the place up.

3rd Life 3.12 - In the scene where the Agents are bursting through the doors, when they find the body of the teenage UnSub, they are holding their guns oddly. They're looking at the scene 'over the sites', typically a Military tactic where you shoot anything that moves. Police, and FBI, would hold the gun lower and bring it up if action must be taken.

Tabula Rasa 3.19 - JJ states that the people in the hospital claimed that the woman visiting the UnSub had brown hair and brown eyes, but when JJ and Rossi go to visit the woman at her home, you notice in her close up that she actually has very dark blue eyes. They do pass as brown at a distance, mind you, but they are still blue ;) I actually noticed that they were so blue they almost looked purple.

Minimal Loss 4.03 - At the beginning of the episode, it shows the reporter and the cameraman outside the house (or what ever you'd call it). When there was the explosion the reporter asked the cameraman if he was getting the shot, but then when they continued the part near the end, during the explosion the reporter didn't ask the cameraman whether he was getting the shot.

The Instincts 4.06 - In Reid's dream sequence at the beginning, his shoes change several times. In the hallway, they are black, when he is at the top of the stair they are white and at one point they are brown.

Zoe's Reprise 4.15- JJ states she saw Rossi when she was attending Georgetown. In the "North Mammon" episode, it was revealed she attended University of Pittsburgh, not Georgetown.

In the Big Wheel 4.22 - When Morgan, Prentiss and Hotch are at the crime scene, using the video to re-enact the killing, Hotch, portraying the UnSub, comes in and Morgan says that he shuts the door. But he actually stabbed the woman, shut the door, then took her to the sofa. It is really obvious because you can see the outside over the UnSub's shoulder.

Season 1 Quiz

marea_101 — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 21:36:51 CST

Hey:)
Quiz is now finished, but due to some technical difficultes i couldn't upload it on to the page, so I've pasted a site where it is. Please visit, take the quiz and have fun!!
Sorry for the inconvinence,

Marea_101
(PS pls leave comments and stuff)

Criminal Minds Season 1 Quiz http://www.gotoquiz.com/criminal_minds_season_1_trivia

Matthew Gray Gubler

batgurl88 — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 20:06:18 CST

Spencer Reid

Know more about Matthew Gray Gubler?

Add what you know to his page by using the "EasyEdit" button.

Matthew Gray Gubler plays Dr. Spencer Reid.
Official Website
Collect photos of Matthew!

Birthday:March 9, 1980
Age: 29
Starsign: Pisces
Birthplace: Las Vegas, NV
Height:6'1"
Parents: His father John Gubler is an attorney, his mother Marilyn Kelch Gubler is a rancher, a political consultant and a former chairwoman of the Nevada Republican Party
Grandparents: Laura Belle and Maxwell Kelch, who are founders of Las Vegas' first radio station KENO
Siblings: a sister, fashion designer Laura Dahl, and younger brother named Gray
Alma mater: NYU, and Tisch School of the Arts
Former occupation: Model
He loves: performing magic tricks,painting/sketching/art, his last name, monograms, Disneyland, Nevada, Japan, France, dinosaurs, Star Wars, carving pumpkins (but sadly believes he might be allergic), playing badminton, spending time with family and friends, eating cashews and taking baths (lots of baths)
Pets: a dog named Mallory
Favourite musicians: Cat Stevens, Bright Eyes, The Cure, Nirvana
Favourite movies: Psycho, Rushmore, Buffalo 66, Home Alone, Harold & Maude, Vertigo, Halloween, The Tenant, The Goonies
Favourite Authors: Charles Bukowski, John Steinbeck, Mark Twain, Ray Bradbury
Favourite Restaurant: Ben and Jerry's

Trivia:

He studied magic tricks as a kid, performing at Bar Mitzvahs but gave it up when he hit puberty and 'went through this really awkward phase'
He auditioned for the role of Spencer Reid three times and got the part after the fourth audition
He won't wear matching socks because he believes it is bad luck which he gets from his grandparents. The one time he wore matching socks in ten years was for the movie The Life Aquatic, where he managed to sprain his ankle on camera and this scene actually wound up being in the movie
The dark circles around his eyes are natural and he has an aversion to having makeup applied to hide this Dark Eye Syndrome
He has co-founded a faux boygroup along with some friends named Boyztown (their debut performance has been described as "homo-erotic" and "hilarious")
In addition to being an actor and director, he is also a sketch artist.
Says that West Anderson is his favorite director.
He is 100% obsessed with the Star Wars movies.
His grandparents are Laura Belle and Maxwell Kelch, they are the founders of Las Vegas' first radio station KENO.
He loves his last name and Monograms.
Matthew not only likes taking baths he also likes carving pumpkins, playing badminton, eating cashews and spending time with his friends and family.
Matthew is a neat freak.
He has covered the theme songs to the TV shows 'Cheers' and 'Golden Girls'
Promotes his website 'Guberland' as a real 'world' and considers the citizens to be 'Gubloids'
His favorite poem is 'AnnaBell Lee' by Edgar Allen Poe

Other Acting Roles and Projects:
Matthew Gray Gubler first made his mark in the acting world with a small part in Wes Anderson's "The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou," as Intern #1 (also known as Nico). While he worked in the film, Gubler also shot a behind-the-scenes documentary called "Matthew Gray Gubler's Life Aquatic Intern Journal." His other directorial efforts include "The Cactus that Looked Just Like a Man", "Tippi's Picnic" and "Claude: A Symphony of Horror." Matthew is also in the Tom Hanks film "The Great Buck Howard". He also had a role in the film "R.V.," as "Joe Joe". Matthew also voiced Simon the Chipmunk in 2007's "Alvin and the Chipmunks" film. Matthew starred in "How to be a Serial Killer" as Bart. Matthew was also in the hit musical-comedy, "500 Days of Summer" as "Paul".

Matthew has walked the catwalk for fashion designers such as Marc Jacobs, Burberry and Louis Vuitton. In November of 2007, Matthew finished editing/directing a music video he directed for "The Killers" and it can be downloaded from iTunes. The song is called "Don't Shoot Me Santa". You can also purchase it from your local music store. All of the proceeds from online iTunes sales go towards fighting AIDS and Malaria. He has also directed the music video for Whirlwind Heat's song "Reagan," in which his younger brother pretends to be a fourth band member and smashes things in the background.

Upcoming Films:

Matthew is also signed to start in the upcoming movie 'Porn Star" as "Ziggy".
He will be revisiting the voice role of "Simon" in 'Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel'.
Matthew has also just finished filming 'Buhl, Idaho' in which he plays fishfarmer "Mok".
Matthew is currently doing a voice role in the upcoming fairytale animated movie, "Rapunzel" out 2010, where he voices "Young Prince."

Articles:

Sleeping Beauty by Jeremy Murphy; Actor Matthew Gray Gubler jets off to Berlin to get a good night's rest and so much more in: CBS Watch! Magazine

Music of Criminal Minds Season 5

LadyMaramalade — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 14:40:06 CST

Keep track of the songs from the show:

Keep in mind the page will be slow to load due to the Widgets.

SEASON 5

Episode # \| Title	Song Titles	Artist	Scene Description
5x01 "Nameless, Faceless"	"Livin' on Borrowed Time"	Puddle of Mudd	Episode promos

5x02 "Haunted"	---	---	---
5x03 "Reckoner"	---	---	---
5x04 "Hopeless"	"Heavy and Hanging"	Patterson Hood	At the end of the episode.
	"Treat Me Like Your Mother"	The Dead Weather	While the three UnSubs are watching their crime on their laptop.
	"Summer Love"	Frank Sinatra	The UnSubs lock themselves into a bar along with two hostages.
5x05 "Cradle to Grave"	Such a Beautiful Thing	Chris Mills
5x06 "The Eyes Have It"
5x07 "The Performer"	"Love Will Tear Us Apart"	Gavin Rossdale	Opening scene at the concert
	"Can You Hear Me"	The Lions	Record release party
	"Evil Eye"	The Lions	Record release party
5x08 "Outfoxed"	---	---	---
5x09 "100"	---	---	---
5x10 "The Slave Of Duty"	"Still I Long For Your Kiss"	Lucinda Williams	The UnSub (Joe) plays it for one of his female victimis, in her livingroom.
5x11 "Retaliation"	---	---	---
5x12 "The Uncanny Valley"			Airs: 1/13/2010
5x13 "Risky Busines"			Airs: 1/20/2010
5x14 "Episode Title"
5x15 "Episode Title"
5x16 "Episode Title"
5x17 "Episode Title"
5x18 "Episode Title"
5x19 "Episode Title"
5x20 "Episode Title"
5x21 "Episode Title"
5x22 "Episode Title"
5x23 "Episode Title"
5x24 "Episode Title"

◄Back to: Music of Criminal Minds

Season Five: All Character Quotes

LadyMaramalade — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 14:21:37 CST

<< Season Four

Season Five
5x01 - Faceless, Nameless
Garcia: Okay, do you want biological information or full medical charts? Reid: Can you get the full medical charts? Garcia: You know, for a smart boy you still ask a lot of dumb questions. I'll have them in seconds.
5x02 - Haunted
Rossi: [Seeing Morgan pass his office] He's not in yet. Morgan: What? Rossi: You've been walking by Hotch's office for an hour.
Morgan: [Talking about Hotch] He has only had a month off, Rossi. Rossi: Technically, 34 days. Morgan: And you think that's long enough? Rossi: You don't? Tell him. Morgan: No thanks, I like my job. Rossi: You like him more.
Reid: [Garcia helps him sit down due to his leg] Thanks. Garcia: Does it hurt? Reid: It only hurts when I think about it, and that's all the time. [Reid tries to take a cookie] Garcia: No no no, away you, these are for Hotch. Reid: I get shot in the leg and I don't get any cookies? You know he's going to hate the attention. Garcia: It's cookies not cake. [Gives Reid a bowl of lollipops] Reid: It's why he's been telling nothing happened, anyway. Garcia: Well it doesn't mean we don't have to. Reid: Doesn't mean we should. Garcia: Well I don't roll that way. Reid: I've been thinking about it, and the entire time I've known Hotch I don't think I've seen him blink. Garcia: I know, it's weird. Reid: Classic alpha male behaviour. Garcia: Do you think he stared down Foyet Reid: Maybe, could've been what saved his life. Garcia: Do you think he stared down the whole time with each ... stab? Reid: I have no idea. Garcia: Is he okay? Reid: I wouldn't be but I'm a blinker. JJ: [Enters] Spence, here you are. [Later] JJ: We are going to Louisville. [Reid waves to Garcia and puts his lollipop in his mouth]
Reckoner
Hotch: Wheel's up in twenty.[Hotch throws a document infront of Reid] Reid: What's this? Hotch: You told me you were clear to travel. You lied. Prentiss: Naughty Boy. Reid: Ah, no I didn't! I am a doctor, so technically it wasn't a lie. Garcia: What was it then. Reid: Um.. Second opinion. Garcia: Huh, you're my ***** now. [Morgan laughs]
Ray: I try this damn puzzle every morning - never works. Rossi: Crator Creater. I work with a kid that could slove this whole thing in five minutes. Ray: He must be smarter than both of us. Rossi: That's for sure.
Rossi: You've read the news? Ray: You think I have something to do with that? You should stick with writing books.
Garcia: I've got something here that might help with that- Reid: Technically, we've got something here that might help with that. (Continues) Reid & Garcia: Former (Garcia stops talking to look at Reid) social worker attended formal status when she was fired DCFS for engross neglacence. In one of her cases was of a seven year old boy, straved to death. (Continues) Hotch: ..probably works for the justice system. Garcia? Reid & Garcia: On it (both look at each other) Garcia: I say- Reid: I- (contection terminates)
Ray: If he smells a fed, I'll end up with the dutches. Rossi: Now that would be a tragidy (Ray chuckles)
Ray: Hey, that kid, the smart one (Reid smiles and mouths 'Its me'). I could use a little help. Rossi: Reid? Reid: Reid here.(Garcia rolls her eyes) Ray: Crossword question. 10 letters Crator Creator. Reid: 10 letters Crator Creator. Garcia: Arctangent. Rossi: Did you get that? Ray: Damn, she's smart. (Reid looks at Garcia, fustrated. Garcia smile & nodds in amusement)
5x10 - The Slave of Duty
Rossi: Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going.

5x11 - Retaliation
Dale Schrader (the UnSub) talking to Emily, while she tries to figure why he murdered the young drug-addict woman: It's madness for the sheep to talk peace with a wolf. (Thomas Fuller)

Dale Schrader to Joe Muller standing in front of Dan Otey's house (his former bank-robbery partener who sold him out for a lesser sentence): Hesitation puts obstacles in the path. Boldness eliminates them. Boldness strikes fear. Fear creates authority.

Season Five

5x01 - Faceless, Nameless

Garcia: Okay, do you want biological information or full medical charts?
Reid: Can you get the full medical charts?
Garcia: You know, for a smart boy you still ask a lot of dumb questions. I'll have them in seconds.

5x02 - Haunted

Rossi: [Seeing Morgan pass his office] He's not in yet.
Morgan: What?
Rossi: You've been walking by Hotch's office for an hour.

Morgan: [Talking about Hotch] He has only had a month off, Rossi.
Rossi: Technically, 34 days.
Morgan: And you think that's long enough?
Rossi: You don't? Tell him.
Morgan: No thanks, I like my job.
Rossi: You like him more.

Reid: [Garcia helps him sit down due to his leg] Thanks.
Garcia: Does it hurt?
Reid: It only hurts when I think about it, and that's all the time.
[Reid tries to take a cookie]
Garcia: No no no, away you, these are for Hotch.
Reid: I get shot in the leg and I don't get any cookies? You know he's going to hate the attention.
Garcia: It's cookies not cake. [Gives Reid a bowl of lollipops]
Reid: It's why he's been telling nothing happened, anyway.
Garcia: Well it doesn't mean we don't have to.
Reid: Doesn't mean we should.
Garcia: Well I don't roll that way.
Reid: I've been thinking about it, and the entire time I've known Hotch I don't think I've seen him blink.
Garcia: I know, it's weird.
Reid: Classic alpha male behaviour.
Garcia: Do you think he stared down Foyet
Reid: Maybe, could've been what saved his life.
Garcia: Do you think he stared down the whole time with each ... stab?
Reid: I have no idea.
Garcia: Is he okay?
Reid: I wouldn't be but I'm a blinker.
JJ: [Enters] Spence, here you are.
[Later]
JJ: We are going to Louisville.
[Reid waves to Garcia and puts his lollipop in his mouth]

Reckoner

Hotch: Wheel's up in twenty.[Hotch throws a document infront of Reid]
Reid: What's this?
Hotch: You told me you were clear to travel. You lied.
Prentiss: Naughty Boy.
Reid: Ah, no I didn't! I am a doctor, so technically it wasn't a lie.
Garcia: What was it then.
Reid: Um.. Second opinion.
Garcia: Huh, you're my ***** now.
[Morgan laughs]

Ray: I try this damn puzzle every morning - never works.
Rossi: Crator Creater. I work with a kid that could slove this whole thing in five minutes.
Ray: He must be smarter than both of us.
Rossi: That's for sure.

Rossi: You've read the news?
Ray: You think I have something to do with that? You should stick with writing books.

Garcia: I've got something here that might help with that-
Reid: Technically, we've got something here that might help with that.
(Continues)
Reid & Garcia: Former (Garcia stops talking to look at Reid) social worker attended formal status when she was fired DCFS for engross neglacence. In one of her cases was of a seven year old boy, straved to death.
(Continues)
Hotch: ..probably works for the justice system. Garcia?
Reid & Garcia: On it (both look at each other)
Garcia: I say-
Reid: I-
(contection terminates)

Ray: If he smells a fed, I'll end up with the dutches.
Rossi: Now that would be a tragidy (Ray chuckles)

Ray: Hey, that kid, the smart one (Reid smiles and mouths 'Its me'). I could use a little help.
Rossi: Reid?
Reid: Reid here.(Garcia rolls her eyes)
Ray: Crossword question. 10 letters Crator Creator.
Reid: 10 letters Crator Creator.
Garcia: Arctangent.
Rossi: Did you get that?
Ray: Damn, she's smart.
(Reid looks at Garcia, fustrated. Garcia smile & nodds in amusement)

5x10 - The Slave of Duty

Rossi: Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going.

5x11 - Retaliation

Dale Schrader (the UnSub) talking to Emily, while she tries to figure why he murdered the young drug-addict woman: It's madness for the sheep to talk peace with a wolf. (Thomas Fuller)

Dale Schrader to Joe Muller standing in front of Dan Otey's house (his former bank-robbery partener who sold him out for a lesser sentence): Hesitation puts obstacles in the path. Boldness eliminates them. Boldness strikes fear. Fear creates authority.

New Story

marea_101 — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 22:12:28 CST

"Reunion"

by Marea_101

Setting: Nashville, Tennesse

Plot: 2 of the former main characters returns, one is a victim, the other rejoins to help the team

Main Characters involved: Gracia is the one who discovers Elle's involvment, that she is a victim/Reid is the one who finds Elle/ JJ is the fist to read the case which is personnoly delivered by Elle's partner. She is imediatly susspicious/ Gideon is contacted to help (by anonamous sorce)/ Morgan is leading the team

Quotes: Reid-"You cut your hair." (Reid has not seen Elle since she left)
Elle-"How else would I be able to disguise myself from all of you." (with a tiny smile)
--
Morgan-"Hello?" (aswering cell)
Garcia-"Can I please speak with SSA Chocolate Hottie?" (perky)
Morgan-"Speaking." (realized was Garcia)
--
Elle-"Hey Mom." (Gideon walks in the hospital room)
(Gideon is staring a Elle--annoyed/confused look)
(Gideon realizes Reid and Morgan are in the room)
(The four break-down laughing)

How the case is solved: -Last victim survives; was able to give key points as did Elle
-First-7th crime sences were found; physical evidence
Whodunnit: Mark + Jordon Davyd--> married mental couple

Other: Elle goes undercover and is kidnapped (before BAU got involved)

---Pls send comments, suggestions, corrections and an other thing you wanna say (title suggestions are welomed)

JJ Jareau

prentissrocks — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 20:09:41 CST

Click EasyEdit to add information about JJ. Develop her backstory, talk about her relationships, her defining cases, and what makes her tick.

Start a new discussion thread about JJ!

NEW!: Add pictures of JJ in action!

Full Name: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau

Played by: AJ Cook.

Rank: SSA (Supervisory Special Agent), Media Liaison

Vital stats: JJ graduated from East Allegheny High School near Pittsburgh, PA, where she was the captain of the varsity soccer team her senior year and earned an athletic scholarship to the University of Pittsburgh. In Season One, she and Reid went on a date to a Washington Redskins game, but nothing has come of it romantically. In Season Two, when she and Reid split up the night of Reid's abduction (2x15), JJ walked into a dark barn and was attacked by several ferocious dogs, which she shot and killed. This had a great effect on her emotionally but has not come up since then. She also ended up shooting Jason Clark Battle - the man who had shot Garcia (3x09) - in the head, subsequently making him the first human she ever had to shoot.

Fun Facts:

Is the team's liaison with local FBI branches and police agencies.
Her favorite football team is the Washington Redskins.
She used to collect butterflies as a child.
She is afraid of the woods.
She picks the cases that the team goes on.
She excels at playing darts.
She grew up in or near East Allegheny, Pennsylvania. (In a town "too small for even a bowling alley")
She played varsity soccer and was team captain.
2x09 is the first time we saw her draw her gun. 2x15 is the first time that she wore a bulletproof vest.
When she picks cases that the team works on, where there are victims around her own age, it affects her emotionally. The cases she doesn't pick also haunt her - she is aware that said cases may continue and more people may die.
Is dating William LaMontagne, Jr., a Police Detective from New Orleans. Together they had a baby, Henry, and named Reid and Garcia his godparents.
According to the season 2 DVD JJ is a Supervisory Special Agent - A certificate is shown on the special feature entitled "Profilers, Profiled" and on the chapter about JJ the certificate gives her the title of Supervisory Special Agent Jennifer Jareau.
Knows how to play Gin, and has beaten Reid on several occasions.
Has an Aunt and Nieces.

Key Episodes:
2x07: "North Mammon"
2x15: "Revelations"
2x18: "Jones"
3x09: "Penelope"
3x11: "Birthright"
3x17: "In Heat"
3x18: "The Crossing"
4x07: "Memoriam"

Who is JJ? Discuss her character development by season.

Season 1	1x04 "Plain Sight": Near the end of this episode, Gideon presents Reid with a pair of tickets to a Washington Redskins game, JJ's favorite football team. Upon encouragement, Reid asks JJ to the game and she apparently accepts. This "date" is never again mentioned as of yet. This was mentioned in the next episode by Morgan when he and Reid are walking in a hallway. Reid tells him it's "Top Secret," and we can't really gather much information about the outcome from this. 1x14 "Riding the Lightning": JJ worked with Hotch to get information out of serial killer Jacob Dawes.
Season 2	Although a primary character since Season 1, JJ didn't start getting any solid development until Season Two where more episodes prominently featured her and she received more screen time. These are the episodes that brought new insight into the character of JJ. 2x06 "Boogeyman": She reveals she is afraid of the woods, although we are unsure if this is completely true due to the fact that the story she told was false. 2x07 "North Mammon" : This episode is a strongly JJ-centric episode, as a woman who knew her aunt came to the FBI with a case which she directly presented to JJ. The team then travels to a small town like the one where JJ grew up. She is crucial to solving the case, and also she maintained the peace throughout the investigation. Hotch even congratulates her at the end, and asks her about becoming a profiler, which she politely declines. We also find out that JJ picks the cases that the group takes. JJ gets to say all the quotes in this episode. 2x09 "The Last Word":JJ draws her weapon for the first time (that we see), although she doesn't fire. 2x15 "Revelations" : This episode reveals a more vulnerable JJ as she tries to deal with the aftermath of Reid's kidnapping, and her own encounter with Tobias's man-eating dogs. 2x18 "Jones" : This is another predominately JJ episode. In most of the episode, JJ is seen throughout talking and liasing with the lead on the case William LaMontagne, Jr. They even flirt a bit, and JJ ends up giving him her number. JJ also interrogates a man with Prentiss regarding rape allegations.
Season 3	3x01 "Doubt": JJ is featured somewhat in this episode. She is a big part in talking to the students about the murders. One of then spits on her after the her friend was killed and JJ had told her that they had someone they were questioning. 3x04 "Children of the Dark": At the end of the episode, JJ has a rather close moment with Prentiss when she tells her about the relatives that Carrie (the teenage survivor) went to. She also confides that she believes Prentiss would make a good mother. JJ is also seen in a bulletproof vest in this episode. 3x05 "7 Seconds": This episode dealt with all of the characters in a balanced way. In this episode JJ actually questions the mom about the disappearance of her daughter. She also provides significant emotional support to the parents. When the mom asks JJ if she has kids, JJ replies that she doesn't but, "We see all of them as our own." It says a lot about how she views her work. 3x09 "Penelope": Although the episode is primarily about Garcia, JJ was featured somewhat significantly and even shot the unsub at the BAU office. Garcia apologized to her afterwards saying "I never wanted you to do that," JJ told her that she never blinked and "that's what we do for family." (This is the first person JJ has killed, aside from the dogs in 2x15.) 3x11 "Birthright": This episode focused JJ somewhat prominently. Throughout the episode she seemed withdrawn, and a bit bothered by something. When Hotch pulled her aside, she explained that the job had been getting to her lately. Hotch replied, basically telling her that she deserved to feel that way with everything that she sees (when picking out the cases, etc.) She visibly got over it by the end of the episode. 3x17 "In Heat": When the BAU team arrived in Miami, they found out that Det. William LaMontagne Jr. (from 2x18 "Jones") was there to help with the case and identify the body of his police partner from New Orleans. We then learned that JJ and LaMontagne have been in a relationship since then, with JJ flying out to New Orleans every weekend to come see him. She struggled with the fact of how to act towards him, because she didn't want the team to find out. Yet, in the end after they reconciled (JJ had broken up with Will earlier in the episode), they made out - with after Prentiss told her that they she should go after him. Morgan and Reid walked in on it, and the three of them weren't surprised. They had known all along that JJ and Will had been dating. 3x18 "The Crossing": JJ received a letter from a woman named Keri who is having issues with a stalker, JJ agreed that they should help the woman and told her they would take the case. With Rossi and Hotch away on one case, JJ takes Morgan, Prentiss and Reid to Maryland to help catch her stalker. While there, JJ gets somewhat emotional and is strangely obsessed to solving the case. Morgan, Prentiss and Reid are a bit perplexed by this. At the end of the episode, JJ makes a call that explains everything: she's pregnant. 3x20 "Lo-Fi": Will joins JJ in New York City, after first jetting to Washington then catching a train to NYC. He and JJ (though reluctantly on her part) announce both her pregnancy and potential engagement - according to Will they are 'working out a few kinks'.The discussion following this involves JJ telling him she isn't willing to leave her job (as there are six people dead and the team needs her), and that they both have dangerous jobs and they are both going to be parents.Towards the end of the episode JJ receives a package from Will, enclosed is a letter stating that he is going back to New Orleans later that night, then she pulls out his detective shield from the package. He has quit for her. JJ then asks Hotch if she can be taken out of the field and he tells her to go tell Will what's happening then to go back to the NYPD headquarters. The last scene with JJ involves her and Will kissing goodbye as he helps her into the the SUV and waves her off in front of the hotel.
Season 4	4x07 "Memoriam": JJ goes into labor while teaching Agent Jordan Todd how to be the team's media and law enforcement liaison, during which we see the massive amounts of cases she has to sift through in order to pick the team's cases. She went through fifteen hours of labor and then gave birth to a baby boy whom she named Henry. She asked Garcia and Reid to be the godparents. 4x23 "Roadkill": JJ is a confirmed (on screen) SSA, as evidenced by her new ID badge in the opening BAU scene.

Emily Prentiss

prentissrocks — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 20:05:37 CST

Click EasyEdit to add information about Emily. Develop her backstory, talk about her relationships, her defining cases, and what makes her tick. > Start a discussion about Emily.

Played by: Paget Brewster

NEW: Add photos of Prentiss in action here.

Rank: Supervisory Special Agent (SSA), Profiler

Vitals: Emily Prentiss is the daughter of Ambassador Elizabeth Prentiss who was primarily posted at the United States Embassy in the Ukraine, but has also been posted in some positions in Italy and the Middle East. All this moving around caused her adolescence and family live to be less than enjoyable. Prentiss has expressed extreme disdain for politics as a result. Prentiss apparently lived in Middle East some during her childhood, and she is fluent in Arabic, Spanish, Italian, and some Russian ("Honor Among Thieves" and "Catching Out"). She was placed on the Behavioral Analysis Unit by Section Chief Erin Strauss as a means to end SSA Hotchner's career, but quit instead of helping Strauss ("In Birth and Death") claiming she hates politics. Hotch recognized her on her first day at the BAU from one of his first commands where he set up security clearance for her mother and her employees. She graduated from Yale in 1993, and has been working for the FBI for around ten years, primarily in the Midwest until she joined the BAU--it is unknown what she did between the year she graduated with her undergraduate degree up until the time she joined the FBI.

Emily is a self-described nerd who feels like she can never date a guy for very long before he is either scared away by the job or her nerdiness. She reveals to Morgan that she loves to read Kurt Vonnegut, and he informs her that he does as well, the two of them discussing the Vonnegut book she buys at the end of a case ("Fear and Loathing"). In season three, she offers to become the guardian for a victim who lost her entire family, but the girl's aunt and uncle were located and agreed to let her live with them. In season four, when Jordan Todd - JJ's maternity leave replacement - feels like an outsider, Emily befriends her until JJ returns. Emily is also shown to have a very close friendship with Derek Morgan. She was born at 7:12 AM on October 12, 197- ("Cold Comfort"). She graduated Garfield High in 1989 and apparently rocked a very Cure-esque look in high school ("Tabula Rasa").

Throughout the show it is hinted that Emily has a somewhat tumultuous past, which is expanded upon in "Demonology," where it is revealed that when she was fifteen she had an abortion in Italy, which she believes caused the downward spiral of her friend, Matthew Benton. Benton was recently killed during what was eventually found to be an unsanctioned exorcism, and Prentiss pushes the BAU to look into. She takes on a great deal of responsibility of Benton's death, which causes some dissent between she and Hotch, but seems to bring she and Rossi closer together.

Key episodes:

2x09, "The Last Word"
2x10, "Lessons Learned"
2x11, "Sex, Birth, Death"
2x16, "Fear and Loathing"
2x20, "Honor Among Thieves"
2x21, "Open Season"
2x23, "No Way Out II: The Evilution of Frank"
3x04, "Children of the Dark"
4x03, "Minimal Loss"
4x17, "Demonology"

Who is Prentiss? Discuss her character development by season.

Season 1	Prentiss did not appear until Season Two.
Season 2	Episode 2x09 "The Last Word" This is the episode that the then-SA Emily Prentiss first appears on the show. She is the daughter of a high-powered diplomat, Ambassador Prentiss, whom Hotch worked with early on in his FBI career. For reasons which are unclear, she has paperwork to join the BAU, but neither Hotch nor Gideon was aware of it. Hotch is wary of her, but at the end of the episode, he reluctantly agrees to take her onto the team on a probational basis. Episode 2x10 "Lessons Learned" is Prentiss' first full episode. In it, we discover that she spent considerable time in the Middle East as a child, traveling with her parents, and is well-versed in the Arabic language and culture. This is the first episode where Prentiss really proves that she has potential as a profiler, picking up on the subtleties within the words and actions of their suspect. Episode 2x11 "Sex, Birth, Death" Hotch believes that Prentiss leaked details of their case to a congresswoman who worked with her mother, an accusation which she resents. It becomes fairly clear to Hotch and the viewers that Prentiss harbors a strong dislike of politics. This is also the first sign we've seen that Prentiss doesn't like her mother. Episode 2x13 "No Way Out" Prentiss clearly bonds with Jane, a mentally ill woman who the serial killer they're tracking seems to be obsessed with. No explanation is given for this bond. Episode 2x15 "Revelations" Both JJ - dealing with the trauma of Reid's abduction - and Hotch question how Prentiss can handle the horrors of their job so easily after working a desk job. Prentiss, clearly put out, responds that she "compartmentalizes better than most people." Episode 2x16 "Fear and Loathing" Prentiss and Morgan bond over their shared love of Kurt Vonnegut. Prentiss tries and fails to cheer Morgan up when the head detective on the case is shot. At the end of the episode she makes a potentially significant, though probably meaningless, slip of the tongue, saying she hasn't read Kurt Vonnegut's Mother Night in, "Fif-- like, twelve years." Episode 2x17 "Distress" marks something of a breakdown of the Reid and Prentiss's friendship. Up until "Revelations," Reid had been friendly to Prentiss -- more-so than anyone else on the team. In "Distress," as a result of his own trauma and, to some extent, Prentiss' unwillingness to let his strange actions slide like the rest of the team, Reid snaps at her several times, and they spend the entire episode -- and some subsequent ones -- on uncomfortable terms. In this episode, we also find out that Prentiss speaks fluent Spanish. Episode 2x18 "Jones" Prentiss' relationship with Reid, and the team, progresses even further. When Reid misses a flight intentionally, Prentiss is tempted to express her doubts about him to Gideon, only to find that Gideon is having the same doubts. Episode 2x20 "Honor Among Thieves" is largely about Prentiss. Her mother comes to the BAU and asks that they take the case of a Russian man who has been kidnapped by the Russian mob, or so his family thinks. Ambassador Elizabeth Prentiss used to work at the Ukrainian consulate, and Prentiss knows a good deal of Russian. Prentiss' relationship with her mother is clearly strained, from their interactions in the episode, and notably, her father is not mentioned. Prentiss states that she has never seen her mother with her guard down. Episode 2x21 "Open Season" is also somewhat Prentiss-based. In the opening scene, she, JJ, and Garcia trick a man who is pretending to be an FBI agent to pick up girls at a bar. At the end of the episode, it's clear that she identifies with the victim, Bobbi, who asks her how unsubs can act the way they do. Prentiss says that the UnSubs don't think like them, but later, on the plane, she confides to Morgan that they do. "What makes us different?" she asks Morgan. Episode 2x23 "No Way Out II: The Evolution of Frank" Jane, from Episode 2x13, returns, and once again, Prentiss's bond with her is clear. At the end of the episode, Erin Strauss, a Section Chief in the FBI, wants to get Hotch off the team. She tells Prentiss that she pulled strings to get her into the BAU, and that she can get her off the BAU if she doesn't spy on Hotch. We don't see Prentiss' response.
Season 3	Episode 3x02 "In Birth and Death" Prentiss resigns, until Hotch tells her he knew that she didn't report anything negative about him to Section Chief Erin Strauss as she had asked. He informs her that her resignation isn't in the system yet so they are bound to help the team in this case, which is later found to be Garcia's doing. Prentiss puts herself in harm's way when she knocks on the door of the UnSub's home and his son lets her in. She is armed with Morgan's gun and convinces the boy she knows the father and he invited her over. She finds out where the father is and goes into the room where he is holding his latest victim, the school nurse, hostage. He clubs Prentiss on the head with a piece of wood and hands his son the gun and tries to get is son to shoot Prentiss. Prentiss is disoriented but manages to send the signal out via her cell to the team to come in. She is okay and announces "is it wrong that I am happy to be back?" to Hotch. She returns home and reflects from her window in her apartment. Episode 3x03 "Scared to Death" Prentiss chats with Reid about why Gideon left him the letter for his reasons for leaving. Reid was trying to understand it and Prentiss tells him the answer is in the letter and to reread it. This is one of the first moments where we see the relationship between Reid and Prentiss fixing itself since they had their falling out following "Revelations". Episode 3x04 "Children of the Dark" A teenage girl survives a brutal and fatal attack on the rest of her family, and Prentiss bonds with her after the girl says it's too late to be a good daughter now that her parents are dead. Feeling the girl has no family and nowhere to go, Prentiss offers to bring her home with her to live and take care of her but the girl's extended family comes forward, leaving Prentiss feeling a little lost. JJ tells her on the plane that she can see that she would make a good mother. Episode 3x05 "Seven Seconds" The BAU team races against the clock to find 6 year old Katie Jacobs who was kidnapped from a mall. Prentiss really steps up as she interviews Susan and Robert, the aunt and uncle of young Katie. After she and Hotch interrogate Robert, they discover he'd been molesting Katie. Hotch points out to Prentiss that the uncle showed no rage and the act of ripping off Katie's necklace had been done in rage. She thinks back to her conversation with Susan and realizes that she was behind Katie's disappearance. She interrogates her until she breaks, and then arrests her after Katie is found.
Season 4	Episode 4x03 "Minimal Loss" Reid and Prentiss go undercover as child services employees to a ranch/cult where they are held captive. After a press leak that an FBI agent is in the compound, she willingly gives herself up as the agent and is subsequently beaten by the cult leader, Benjamin Cyrus. She endures the beatings and is able to get one of the women in the compound to confess that she made the initial call that brought them there. Prentiss also convinces the woman to get most of the remaining captives into the basement before the building was to be raided. In the end, Prentiss plays an intricate part in getting the case solved. Episode 4x09 "52 Pick-Up" Prentiss atracts a creepy 'how to get a date' guy named Viper. This episodes marks a clear connection of friendship between Emily and Jordan, JJ's temporary replacement, with Emily vouching for Jordan to Hotch. There is also a scene where she and Hotch are in the locker room and they talk about dates, him scrutinizing her. Mention is made of the rough reception the team (specifically Hotch) gave Emily when she first appeared on the team. Episode 4x17 "Demonology" We learn Emily was living in Rome when she was 15. She got pregnant, possibly by John Cooley, and had an abortion. She was religious at the time. She possibly speaks Italian, it is not quite clear. She seems to be pushed away by Hotch in this episode but accepted by Rossi and we see one of her first really defining moments.

5.11 Retaliation

prentissrocks — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 17:50:24 CST

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"RETALIATION"

airdate: December 16, 2009
written by: Erica Messer
directed by: Felix Alcala

An ex-con escapes while in the custody of the BAU, and the team must review his criminal career in order to determine where he may have gone.

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Said By:	Quote:	Author:
Prentiss	"Men are more ready to repay an injury than a benefit, because gratitude is a burden and revenge a pleasure"	Tacitus
Prentiss	“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love.”	Washington Irving

Criminal Minds Quotes ►

The Turning Point in the Investigation

When the team realized that Dale Shrader's partner was not a criminal but an undercover cop threatened into compliance.

Who dunnit and why?
Dale Shrader. He threatened Joe Muller with the lives of his wife and two children in order to obtain the stolen money he had hidden away.
---

Best Moments

What were the best scenes in the episode?

In the Hospital when Emily was arguing with Morgan.

The opening car accident scene.

When Emily kills Shrader and Joe attacks her.

When Morgan is giving Emily the cognitive interview.

Hotch's face when he hears the little boy's voice on the telephone calling to his dad for help.
When Morgan and Emily are leaving the hospital and she comments about how she was right next to Bunting when Shrader killed him, but she couldn't help him. Morgan tells her "don't do this."

Best Lines

When Emily tries to stand up from her wheelchair, saying that she can walk on her own, Morgan tells her to sit down and says, "I like pushing you around."

When Morgan asks Prentiss how many shots she fired at Shrader as he escaped.

"How many shots did you fire?" "Three." "You emptied your clip." "I did?"

Lee Tergesen (Dale Shrader)
A. Martinez (Bunting)
Tim Guinee (Joe Muller)
Jordan Van Vranken (Jenny Shrader)
Angela Pierce (Connie Shrader)
Monroe Makowsky (Dan Otey)

Leslie Stevens (Karen Otey)
Reamy Hall (Molly Muller)
Griffin Cleveland (Son)
Jan Hoag (Betts)
Sarah Flannery (Stacey Ryan)
Caleb Mayo (Junkie)
Darr Gregor Davis (Jason Otey)

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EPISODE VIDEO

Derek Morgan

rae3m2009 — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 01:14:01 CST

Click EasyEdit to add information about Morgan to this page. Write his backstory, talk about his relationships, his defining cases, and what makes him tick. > Talk about Morgan!

Played by: Shemar Moore.

NEW: Add pictures of Morgan in action here!

Rank: SSA (Supervisory Special Agent), Profiler

Vital stats: Morgan is a confident and assertive character, the son of an African American father and Caucasian mother. He has a black belt in Judo, runs FBI self-defense classes, previously served in a bomb squad unit and on the Chicago Police Force. Morgan went to Northwestern University on an athletic (Football) scholarship, but lost his scholarship when his knee was blown out during a game. He earned both his undergraduate degree and his law degree from Northwestern University ("Profiler, Profiled"). Morgan is the man's man of the team. He and his two sisters (Sarah and Desiree) grew up in a tough urban Chicago neighborhood. After the death of his father when he was 10, Morgan struggled somewhat and youthful fighting earned him a juvenile criminal record. He was taken under the wing of a local youth center coordinator, Carl Buford (Episode 2x12 "Profiler, Profiled"). Buford acted as a surrogate father to Morgan and helped Morgan obtain his college football scholarship, but also sexually abused him. In the season three finale, Morgan was told he was being considered to run the New York field office, if the current leader should fail. After the events of the season four opener ("Mayhem") where the head of the New York field office was killed, Morgan was offered the job as the head of the field office, but turned it down, after briefly considering it in "Lo-Fi", when Hotch fails to recommend him for the job, claiming Morgan has trust issues.

Morgan used to regard himself as the right hand man of Jason Gideon before Gideon's departure in the beginning of Season three ("Doubt"). He specializes in crimes pertaining to obsession and also has a very wide knowledge of explosives from his days on the bomb squad. Previously, he worked as an undercover agent in deep cover for eighteen months prior to joining the BAU. Occasionally, he takes delight in flirting with Technical Analyst Penelope Garcia, and the show often alludes to them being best friends. Morgan and Garcia are shown to be extremely close on several occasions: he confides in her that he loves her when she is shot (though we never find out if he means romantically or platonically) and when he trusts her to help him dispose of a live bomb in the season four opener ("Mayhem"). His birthday is June 6, 1973, making him around 35 years old (Episode 2x12 "Profiler, Profiled").

Key episodes:
1x10: "The Popular Kids"
1x21: "Secrets and Lies"
2x02: "P911"
2x06: "Boogeyman"
2x08: "Empty Planet"
2x12: "Profiler, Profiled"
2x16: "Fear and Loathing"
2x20: "Honor Among Thieves"
3x04: "Children of the Dark"
3x08: "Lucky"
3x16: "Elephant's Memory"

Who is Morgan? Discuss his character development by season.

Season 1	We learn very little about Morgan in season one. There are, however, a few facts that we do find out. Episode 1x01, "Extreme Aggressor," We learn that Morgan was supposed to be with Gideon in Boston when Adrian Bale blew up a building that he likely would have been in. We never find out why he wasn't there. We also learn he is an expert in Obsessional Crime. Episode 1x03, "Won't Get Fooled Again," Morgan expresses doubts to Hotch that Gideon is ready to deal with a bomber. This clearly shows that he's more comfortable contradicting Hotch and Gideon than, for instance, Reid. Episode 1x05, "Broken Mirror," Reid suggests that Morgan is something of a lady's man. Morgan doesn't deny it. He also says he doesn't mess around with women who carry guns (hint of a bad experience once upon a time?). Episode 1x08, "Natural Born Killer" While Hotch and Morgan were ransacking an unsubs apartment, Morgan came across a hollow wall and revealed a standard issue "cop" gun. He revealed to Hotch that he had done 18 months of deep undercover work. Episode 1x10, "The Popular Kids," When Reid is having nightmares, Morgan goes behind his back and tells Hotch and Gideon about them. Later, Morgan reveals to Reid that he started having nightmares six months after he joined the BAU, and that Gideon helped him work through them. This is one of the first hints we see of a strong mentor/student relationship between Gideon and Morgan. Episode 1x18, "Somebody's Watching," Reid says that he's never seen Morgan with the same woman twice. Once again, Morgan doesn't deny it. He says it is because of the job. It takes up most of their time. Episode 1x21, "Secrets and Lies," Morgan develops something of an attraction to one of the CIA agents the team is investigating. We also learn that he has a dog, Clooney, and he rides a motorcycle.
Season 2	Episode 2x02, "P911," Morgan is angry almost beyond reason when the team catches a ********* who is also the principal of an elementary school, and later, when they catch one who had kidnapped a young boy and was trying to auction him off. Episode 2x06, "The Boogeyman," Morgan is again extremely angry at a man the team believes has killed a series of children in a small town in Texas. He reveals he was afraid of the dark as a child. Episode 2x08, "Empty Planet," he refuses to move from the side of a woman whose car has been rigged with a bomb. Gideon tells a witness (the unsubs stressor) that at that moment, a "young man [he] greatly admires and respects" is putting his life on the line. Later, when both Morgan and the woman have come away safely, Reid tells him what Gideon said. Gideon tells Morgan that what he did was stupid, but not necessarily wrong. Episode 2x12, "Profiler, Profiled" is entirely focused on Morgan. In it, we discover that he saw his father die in an attempt to stop a robbery when he was twelve. Later, the director of a Chicago youth center took him under his wing and mentored him. The same man also molested him, however, explaining Morgan's actions in Episodes 2x02 ands 2x06. Morgan found the body of a young boy when he was just a kid himself, took up a collection and buried the victim, who remained unknown. Episode 2x16, "Fear and Loathing," Morgan bonds with Prentiss over their shared love of Kurt Vonnegut, and with the head detective on their current case. When the detective is shot, Prentiss tries to cheer Morgan up at the funeral and fails. Later, Morgan also tries and fails to help Reid with the aftermath of 2x15, "Revelations." Episode 2x18, "Jones," Morgan alludes to his history as a victim of sexual abuse in a conversation with Prentiss, marking one of the few times he has voluntarily mentioned his personal past in any way. Episode 2x20, "Honor Among Thieves," Morgan bonds with the daughter of a victim. She later turns out to be the unsub.
Season 3	Episode 3x04 "Children of the Dark": He is upset with Social Services because they want him and Prentiss to take two kids back to their foster parents, even though they are being abused by the very same people. Later he talks one of the kids into giving up a gun one of the unsubs had given him, and walks him out of the home telling him he never has to go back there again. Episode 3x07 "Identity" Morgan is sent to a bar to meet with the head of the Militia by Rossi. Morgan does not understand and challenges why Rossi is sending him when there is a whole team to choose from. Once Morgan gets to the bar, it becomes an issue with the Militia Leader/Bar Owner of why Morgan was sent there. Morgan challenges him and stands his ground and leaves with the information he went for. In the end, he meets up with Rossi and wants to know after all he's accomplished, why he came back to the BAU. Rossi is vague telling him it's only unfinished business and Morgan tells him that one thing Rossi doesn't know about him yet is that he is relentless, he will find out. Episode 3x08 "Lucky" Morgan and Garcia have a tiff because she met someone and is confused and excited and rather than helping, he makes her feel worse. He and Reid also exchange words on the jet to Florida as Morgan talks about how he is not afraid of the devil and Reid points out that in order to believe in one, he has to believe in the other. Morgan gets defensive and tells Reid, "No offense kid but you don't know what I believe." Also Morgan is reluctant to question the priest and he asks Rossi to do it and Rossi puts him on the spot in the front of the priest and makes him interview him anyway. Later while working with the priest on narrowing down the list of suspects, Morgan tells the priest he doesn't believe in god because when he was young, something bad was happening to him (referring to his molestation that was revealed in Episode 2x12 "Profiler Profiled") and he went to church every week and prayed and where was god to help a 13 year old boy. Later he apologized to the priest and the episode ended with him walking into a church. Episode 3x09 "Penelope" Morgan learned Garcia had gone out with the "hottie" and he was the one who shot her. Morgan blamed himself and was upset as he had called her and asked her to go out that night but she was upset with him and turned him down so he went to church instead. He stayed by Garcia's side throughout the entire episode to protect her. When he brought her home from the hospital and spent the night, he told her he loved her and she him. It was implied that they care for each other, but not as more than friends or siblings. When Rossi asked Morgan how his faith was, Morgan told him "day to day". Episode 3x14 "Damaged" Morgan uses his specialty in Obsessional Crimes to narrow down the profile and find the 20 year old "killer" of Rossi's "Unfinished business". Episode 3x15 "A Higher Power" Morgan admits to Prentiss while visiting the first crime scene that he owns four properties. He is skeptical to believe that this particular death is anything but a suicide or the second crime scene either. It's only after the third crime scene that Morgan is on board with the rest of the team in believing they have a serial killer at loose. After catching the Unsub and heading home, Prentiss asks Morgan how he does it. Morgan admits he owns four properties because whether he's on the job or smashing down walls, both of them make him feel like he's changing something for the better. Episode 3x16 "Elephant's Memory" While sitting in the unsub's bedroom (Owen Savage), Morgan and Reid shared some of their high school bully stories. Reid assumed Morgan was a jock, had posters of Michael Jordan, etc. on his walls. It was later when Reid struggled with his past and how he had been like Owen that Morgan opened up and told him that during his freshmen year of high school. He told Reid that he wasn't the only one who could identify with the unsub. Morgan admitted he was 5 ft. 3 and only weighed about 123 lbs. and got his butt kicked regularly. It was after his freshmen year that Morgan went to the gym and began working out, then joined sports teams, etc.
Season 4	Episode 4x01 "Mayhem" Morgan had a crucial role in this episode. In the beginning he fought against an NYPD tactical officer in order to go to Hotch's aid after the explosion. While he was helping Hotch with Joyner's injuries, Garcia called and alerted him to the fact that Sam - the bystander helping them - was infact the bomber. Morgan chased Sam into the subway tunnels, but was unable to prevent Sam from stepping onto the powered part of the track and electrocuting himself. Later, he figured out that the Paramedic was in fact another terrorist and he rushed down to the ambulance to find that he had planted a large bomb in it. Since it could not be defused, Morgan got inside the ambulance and drove it as far away from the city as he could while Garcia jammed the signal. Once the signal jam wore off, the ambulance exploded - but Morgan was able to make it out beforehand. Episode 4x10 "Brothers in Arms" Being a Police Officer once before himself, Morgan shares in the pain of losing a fellow officer. Throughout the episode he is consistently trying to get the Lieutenant to understand that he can't arrest the first guy he suspects. Morgan sits down and has a civil conversation with the local gang leader about his own Lieutenant who had been murdered by the same guy killing the Police Officers. "Playboy" remembers a guy who matched the description Morgan gave him. After returning to the Police Station after the false alarm Hotch and Morgan trick the unsub into approaching Hotch, meanwhile Morgan comes up behind him and disarms him. Making the arrest. After the team leaves to return home Morgan attends the funeral of one of the cops and tells the cop's son that he understands what he is going though and to keep his head up, reminding him that his dad was a hero.

5.13 Risky Business

#1hotchfan — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 14:26:56 CST

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"Risky Business"

airdate: January 20, 2010
written by: Jim Clemente
directed by: Rob Spera

The BAU is called to assist local authorities in rural Wyoming when teens are found choked to death in their bedrooms with no apparent clues as to how or why.

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Said By:	Quote:	Author:

Criminal Minds Quotes ►

The Turning Point in the Investigation

Who dunnit and why?
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Best Moments

What were the best scenes in the episode?

Best Lines

Ren Hamilton (Mrs. Krouse)
Justin Prentice (Ryan Krouse)
Amanda Leighton (Trish Leake)
John Pyper-Ferguson (Wilson Summers)
Lauren Letherer (Mrs. Leake)
Michael Christopher Bolten (Christopher Summers)
D.C. Douglas (Mr. Krouse)
Christopher Weir (Mr. Leake)

Clare Carey (Sheriff Samuel)
Joe Jagatic (Deputy #1)
Kim Irwin Dildine (Principal)
Dalton O`Dell (Ted)
Ellen Marlow (Lindsay)
Samantha Grace McCullough (Classmate #1)
Kayla Girling (Classmate #2)
Skylar Nevolo (Classmate #3)

DISCUSSION THREAD
DISCUSSION THREAD

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EPISODE VIDEO

Season 5 Episodes

batgurl88 — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 12:58:17 CST

Add a new episode guide to the Season 5 section every week!

To start a new episode guide, click "Add a new page" from the toolbox at right, then name the page following the names of the episodes listed below. Before you save the new page, pull down on the template menu to select "episode template," and it will be automatically applied to your page.

5.20
5.21
5.22
5.23
5.24

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